Cursed
03-07-2003, 03:07 AM
Take heart, anyone among you who believes you are technologically
> > > > challenged, you "ain't seen nuthin'" yet. This is
> > > > an excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:
> > > >
> > > > 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to
> > > > "Press Return Key" because of the flood of
> > > > calls asking where the "Any" key is.
> > > >
> > > > 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse
> > > > was hard to control with the dust cover on. The
> > > > cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
> > > >
> > > > 3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his
> > > > computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of
> > > > troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to
> > > > fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the
> > > > monitor screen -and hitting the, "Send" key.
> > > >
> > > > 4. Yet another, Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard
> > > > no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up
> > > > his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day,
> > > > then removing all the keys and washing them
> > > > individually.
> > > >
> > > > 5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was
> > > > enraged because his computer had told him he was
> > > > "Bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the computer's "bad
> > > > command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be
> > > > taken personally.
> > > >
> > > > 6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing
> > > > documents. He told the technician that the computer had said
> > > > it couldn't find printer." The user had also tried turning the
> > > > computer screen to face the printer-but that his computer
> > > > still couldn't "see" the printer.
> > > >
> > > > 7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't
> > > > get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After
> > > > ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what
> > > > happened when she pushed the power button.
> > > > Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
> > > > happens."
> > > > The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.
> > > >
> > > > 8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand
> > > > new computer wouldn't work. She said she
> > > > unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes
> > > > waiting for something to happen. When asked what
> > > > happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power
> > > > switch?"
> > > >
> > > > 9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang
> > > > for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was
> > > > OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some problems with
> > > > the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I
> > > > couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert
> > > > Disk 2" implied to- remove Disk 1 first.
> > > >
> > > > 10. A story from a Novell Net Wire Sys Op:
> > > > CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
> > > > TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
> > > > CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken -and I am within my
> > > > warranty period. How do I go about getting that
> > > > fixed?"
> > > > TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
> > > > CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
> > > > TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I
> > > > am.
> > > > Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How
> > > > did you get this cup holder? Does it have any
> > > > trademark on it?
> > > > "CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a
> > > > promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
> > > > At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he
> > > > couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller
> > > > had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder
> > > > and snapped it off the drive.
> > > >
> > > > 11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
> > > > printer.
> > > > The tech asked her if she was "running it under windows." The woman
> > > > responded, "No, my desk is next to the door.
> > > > But that is a good point.
> > > > The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his
> > > > printer is working fine."
> > > >
> > > > 12. And last but not least:
> > > > TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys
> > > > at the same time. That brings up a task list in
> > > > the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the
> > > > Program Manager."
> > > > CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".
> > > > TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
> > > > CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
> > > > TECH SUPPORT: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
> > > > CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that
> > >
> > > > challenged, you "ain't seen nuthin'" yet. This is
> > > > an excerpt from a Wall Street Journal article:
> > > >
> > > > 1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to
> > > > "Press Return Key" because of the flood of
> > > > calls asking where the "Any" key is.
> > > >
> > > > 2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse
> > > > was hard to control with the dust cover on. The
> > > > cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
> > > >
> > > > 3. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his
> > > > computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of
> > > > troubleshooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to
> > > > fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the
> > > > monitor screen -and hitting the, "Send" key.
> > > >
> > > > 4. Yet another, Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard
> > > > no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up
> > > > his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day,
> > > > then removing all the keys and washing them
> > > > individually.
> > > >
> > > > 5. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was
> > > > enraged because his computer had told him he was
> > > > "Bad and an invalid." The tech explained that the computer's "bad
> > > > command" and "invalid" responses shouldn't be
> > > > taken personally.
> > > >
> > > > 6. A confused caller to IBM was having trouble printing
> > > > documents. He told the technician that the computer had said
> > > > it couldn't find printer." The user had also tried turning the
> > > > computer screen to face the printer-but that his computer
> > > > still couldn't "see" the printer.
> > > >
> > > > 7. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't
> > > > get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After
> > > > ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what
> > > > happened when she pushed the power button.
> > > > Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing
> > > > happens."
> > > > The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.
> > > >
> > > > 8. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand
> > > > new computer wouldn't work. She said she
> > > > unpacked the unit, plugged it in and sat there for 20 minutes
> > > > waiting for something to happen. When asked what
> > > > happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked, "What power
> > > > switch?"
> > > >
> > > > 9. Another IBM customer had trouble installing software and rang
> > > > for support. "I put in the first disk, and that was
> > > > OK. It said to put in the second disk, and had some problems with
> > > > the disk. When it said to put in the third disk, I
> > > > couldn't even fit it in..." The user hadn't realized that "Insert
> > > > Disk 2" implied to- remove Disk 1 first.
> > > >
> > > > 10. A story from a Novell Net Wire Sys Op:
> > > > CALLER: "Hello, is this Tech Support?"
> > > > TECH: "Yes, it is. How may I help you?"
> > > > CALLER: "The cup holder on my PC is broken -and I am within my
> > > > warranty period. How do I go about getting that
> > > > fixed?"
> > > > TECH: "I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?"
> > > > CALLER: "Yes, it's attached to the front of my computer."
> > > > TECH: "Please excuse me. If I seem a bit stumped, it's because I
> > > > am.
> > > > Did you receive this as part of a promotional at a trade show? How
> > > > did you get this cup holder? Does it have any
> > > > trademark on it?
> > > > "CALLER: "It came with my computer. I don't know anything about a
> > > > promotional. It just has '4X' on it."
> > > > At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller because he
> > > > couldn't stand it. He was laughing too hard. The caller
> > > > had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder
> > > > and snapped it off the drive.
> > > >
> > > > 11. A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her
> > > > printer.
> > > > The tech asked her if she was "running it under windows." The woman
> > > > responded, "No, my desk is next to the door.
> > > > But that is a good point.
> > > > The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window and his
> > > > printer is working fine."
> > > >
> > > > 12. And last but not least:
> > > > TECH SUPPORT: "O.K. Bob, let's press the control and escape keys
> > > > at the same time. That brings up a task list in
> > > > the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the
> > > > Program Manager."
> > > > CUSTOMER: "I don't have a 'P'".
> > > > TECH SUPPORT: "On your keyboard, Bob."
> > > > CUSTOMER: "What do you mean?"
> > > > TECH SUPPORT: "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
> > > > CUSTOMER: "I'm not going to do that
> > >