Two elderly women were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of them pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.
Woman 1: "What's that?"
Woman 2: "A condom. This way, my cigarette doesn't get wet."
Woman 1: "Where did you get it?"
Woman 2: "You can get them at any drugstore."
The next day, Woman 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what kind she prefers.
"It doesn't matter," she replies, "as long as it fits a Camel."