How to shower like a Woman:
1. Take off clothes and place in sectioned laundry hamper
according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long housecoat. If you see
husband along the way, quickly cover up any exposed areas.
3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make
mental note to do more sit-ups.
4. Get in shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth,
long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.
5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo
with 43 added vitamins.
6. Wash you hair again to make sure it's clean.
7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner
enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on for 15 minutes.
8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for
10 minutes until red.
9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
10. Rinse conditioner off hair.
11. Shave armpits and legs.
12. Turn off shower.
13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots
14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.
16. Return to bedroom completely wrapped in housecoat and towel on head.
17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
How to shower like a Man:
1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener
at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your
wiener, and scratch your ass.
4. Get in the shower.
5. Wash you face.
6. Wash your armpits.
7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound
in the shower.
9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
11. Shampoo your hair.
12. Make a shampoo Mohawk.
14. Rinse off and get out of shower.
15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was
hanging out of tub the whole time.
16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.
17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife,
pull off towel, shake wiener at her, and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
19. Throw wet towel on bed.
sounds about right
especially the shower curtain part
Wanderer of the Wastes
"I dread beyond all else the growth of the petty tyranny of restrictive legislation, the transference of disciplinary authority from the judiciary to the constabulary, the abandonment of every constitutional safeguard of individual liberty."
Thats so misinformed, I leave the wet towl on the floor in the bathroom to sop up the water!
Sweet hydraulics on the front end of that 9R MrMurphy.
hehe, I'm not exactly what you'd call skilled at making graphics :P
As opposed to woo-woo, I usually tell my fiancee to "check it out!"