How to shower like a Woman:
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Thread: How to shower like a Woman:

  1. #1
    blue owl

    How to shower like a Woman:

    1. Take off clothes and place in sectioned laundry hamper

    according to lights and darks.

    2. Walk to bathroom wearing long housecoat. If you see

    husband along the way, quickly cover up any exposed areas.

    3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make

    mental note to do more sit-ups.

    4. Get in shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth,

    long loofah, wide loofah, and pumice stone.

    5. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo

    with 43 added vitamins.

    6. Wash you hair again to make sure it's clean.

    7. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner

    enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on for 15 minutes.

    8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for

    10 minutes until red.

    9. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

    10. Rinse conditioner off hair.

    11. Shave armpits and legs.

    12. Turn off shower.

    13. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots

    with Tilex.

    14. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.

    Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

    15. Check entire body for zits, tweeze hairs.

    16. Return to bedroom completely wrapped in housecoat and towel on head.

    17. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    How to shower like a Man:

    1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

    2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake wiener

    at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

    3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your

    wiener, and scratch your ass.

    4. Get in the shower.

    5. Wash you face.

    6. Wash your armpits.

    7. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

    8. Make fart noises (real or artificial) and laugh at how loud they sound

    in the shower.

    9. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

    10. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

    11. Shampoo your hair.

    12. Make a shampoo Mohawk.

    13. Pee.

    14. Rinse off and get out of shower.

    15. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was

    hanging out of tub the whole time.

    16. Admire wiener size in mirror again.

    17. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

    18. Return to bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass wife,

    pull off towel, shake wiener at her, and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

    19. Throw wet towel on bed.

  2. #2
    Rageaholic Array Jayson's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Canon 1ds3 1d4
    sounds about right
    especially the shower curtain part

  3. #3
    Wanderer of the Wastes Array DNAspark99's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    השטן שב
    "I dread beyond all else the growth of the petty tyranny of restrictive legislation, the transference of disciplinary authority from the judiciary to the constabulary, the abandonment of every constitutional safeguard of individual liberty."

  4. #4
    Devil's Advocate Array RoadBlur's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    The slums of new west
    Suzuki XV 2182
    Thats so misinformed, I leave the wet towl on the floor in the bathroom to sop up the water!

  5. #5
    Registered User Array
    Join Date
    Jul 2002

  6. #6
    Registered User Array Dalton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    I like my
    k7 gsxr 600
    Sweet hydraulics on the front end of that 9R MrMurphy.
    BCSB- Moderator

  7. #7
    Devil's Advocate Array RoadBlur's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    The slums of new west
    Suzuki XV 2182
    hehe, I'm not exactly what you'd call skilled at making graphics :P

  8. #8
    As opposed to woo-woo, I usually tell my fiancee to "check it out!"

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