I left work early today. I got a phone call from my wife. She was in tears.
It was a surprise to me and my siblings when my Mom was diagnosed with
Pancreatic Cancer last month. It has spread to her liver. The doctor at the
clinic said she has 5-6 months to live and there are no treatments that will
... but I must be strong.
My wife told me that Moms heart is failing and she's scared.
The Dr. at the hospital says her condition is worse than they thought.
It won't be long.
I'm the youngest of a large family. My oldest brother and sister live far away
and due to my 'strength' I was asked to be the decision maker.
No one knows I was in an accident today. My bikes fine ... a few scratches.
My shoulder, arm and knee hurt. It's painful to shift.
I'll be okay.
I asked Mom about a Will. She doesn't have one.
I asked Mom what she would like to do. She said creamation.
I asked Mom where she would like her ashes to be spread. She said with her parents.
I'm worried about me. When my siblings can't, why is it not difficult for me to
ask these questions? Why, when my siblings cry, I do not cry with them?
I'll be okay Mom. We'll all be okay.
I asked myself last month what can I do? What can I say?
The only things I can say:
I love you.
I think I'm doing what I can.