The 20 Stupidest GI Joe Vehicles Ever
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Thread: The 20 Stupidest GI Joe Vehicles Ever

  1. #1
    Registered User Array se7en's Avatar
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    Mar 2002

    The 20 Stupidest GI Joe Vehicles Ever

    i think i had about 6 on the list. if these were stupid, i want to see the 20 best vehicles.

    So awhile back I wrote about how the military was taking inspiration from dinosaurs and psychotropic drugs (probably) when designing the next generation of military vehicles. I managed to sneak in a good joke about Voltron before the whole thing degenerated into the sort of shoddy list-based nonsense that passes for comedy around here. Seriously, some days we’re just running around playing grab-ass here.

    Shortly after the article went live it occurred to me that I had omitted to mention the absolute pinnacle of military vehicle insanity: The GI Joe universe. And so, as we wrap up the 7th and most boring year yet of the War on Terror, I’d like to take you back to a world where wars were cooler, and way stupider…
    Last edited by se7en; 11-25-2008 at 11:20 PM.

  2. #2
    license to chill Array frontside5's Avatar
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    Mar 2006
    R6, F4 stunter
    omg this made me cry I had to stop and breathe for a minute this was so damn hilarious.

    Couldn't make it past #9 the first time around. That was my breaking point. Thanks for the abdominal pain!

  3. #3
    Mortgage Pimp Array J_Scott's Avatar
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    Jun 2004
    Whistler, BC
    I'm just here for the intelligent conversation.

    His comments are priceless.

  4. #4
    Not wearing pants. Array klutch's Avatar
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    Jul 2006
    Watching as you shower
    Schwinn with tassles

    In the real world, the A-10 Warthog is one badass looking plane. Here Cobra’s attempted to make it better by adding what I’m going to go ahead and describe as “a gay little turret.” When you consider that every other gun in the GI Joe universe is the size of a golf bag, whatever they have mounted in that turret looks like what you’d give to an elderly woman recovering from surgery, if things had gotten desperate and you really needed her out on the front lines.

    My parents stopped buying G.I. Joe stuff for me and my brothers after the smallest of us put a missile from one of the jets up the family dog's bum.

  5. #5
    Bohica Array Madman's Avatar
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    Jun 2004
    CBR600F4i SOLD!
    ROFLMAO!!! That was a funny read! my GI JOE stuff died in a blaze of glory and destruction with copious amounts of explosives, gasoline and whatever else would go BOOM ... what a day that was! It was a backyard party, me, my friends, my parents and the fire dept would not soon forget ...
    My Photo Gallery!

    R.I.P. Danimal

  6. #6
    Registered User Array SpideRider's Avatar
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    Jul 2002
    Fraser Valley
    I miss my collection.
    Cry in the dojo, laugh on the battlefield
    Sparring speed is a matter of simple physics:
    The height of your flight is inversely proportionate to the mass of your ass.

  7. #7
    Wanderer of the Wastes Array DNAspark99's Avatar
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    Apr 2002
    השטן שב
    I sincerely hope some of this stuff makes it into the new movie... specifically the 'trubble bubble!'
    "I dread beyond all else the growth of the petty tyranny of restrictive legislation, the transference of disciplinary authority from the judiciary to the constabulary, the abandonment of every constitutional safeguard of individual liberty."

  8. #8
    Electric Boogaloo Array rlundstrom's Avatar
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    Apr 2007
    Electric '86 FZ600, '06 DRZ400SM
    Jeebus, I had quite a few of those. I bought the Battle Platform with my own money, too. What I didn't have, others on the block did. No one had the USS FLAGG, though. I think it was mythical.

    We bought my eldest son a Sky Striker at a garage sale a few months ago for 10 cents. He loves it, even though it's missing nearly everything (sort of like mine was, in the end).


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