A good Irish man, John O'Reilly, met regularly with his toastmasters club.
One evening they were hitting the Guinness and having a contest to see who could propose the best toast.
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!"
That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night.
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the pize for the best toast of the night."
"Aye," she said, "What was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife."
"Oh that is very nice indeed John!" said Mary.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's toasting mates on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night with a toast about you Mary."
Mary said, "Aye, and I was a bit suprised meself. You know he's only been there twice -- Once he fell asleep and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."