Dating a single parent?
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Thread: Dating a single parent?

  1. #1
    Just Another Enthusiast Array vrecksler's Avatar
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    Feb 2002
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    Dating a single parent?

    I know there will likely be a fair share of posts taking advantage of such an open ended thread, however I am more interested in serious responses about dating a single mom.

    As a single guy in his mid thirties, it is not that uncommon to come across ladies with a child or two. In the past I have steered clear of these women, and while I won't go into my reasons let's just say I am a bit selfish and wasn't sure I would be able to handle that situation...I am still not sure, but I am considering it.

    A friend of mine wants to introduce me to her friend, who has a son under 10 years old. She thinks we would hit it off and enough time has passed since the divorce and her friend is ready to meet people again. A part of me is a little uncomfortable with the idea, but at the same time if I have a chance to meet someone I really connect with, then it is worth it.

    If anyone has experience with dating single mom (or single parents more generally), I would love to hear about it; I don't want to meet her and only talk about her previous marriage but at the same time it seems odd to intentionally avoid, I am also curious.

    Anyway, thanks in advance.

    B-r-a-d-l-e-y...Why? Because I'm Bradley!


  2. #2
    Lets Ride Array Trauma_Rider's Avatar
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    Hi there, I need to put my two cents in here, cause this is close to home for me.....I am a single parent.....SO please, please DO NOT get involved with this situation unless you are sure you can be involved if it turns out you connect!!!! You sound like you have avoided it for your own reasons, and you are fair and honest, good on you!!!! It is very hard on kids if someone comes into their life and doesn't connect with them to. They are apart of her and need some attention too!!!

  3. #3
    Moderator Array flowrider's Avatar
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    Crap posts deleted. Consider it a warning. If you have good advice or insight then post, otherwise don't.

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  4. #4
    Moderator Array Mighty Kentor's Avatar
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    My advice is to keep the kid(s) out of the equation for at least 6 months to a year. If you're still dating by that point, then sloooowly introduce yourself to them. Would be worth your while to take parenting classes at your local community services if you decide that the lady and you are a hit. Parenting is complex, co-parenting a child who is not yours is even more complex especially when jumping in late in the game.

    I'm happy to recommend a few good books, such as: Raising an emotionally intelligent child, or How to talk so kids will listen, and listen so kids will talk.

    The kid(s) don't need to meet every guy who's trying to figure out if they like mommy.
    Reformatted to fit your screen.

  5. #5
    Takin it like a $10 Whore Array newbster_rider's Avatar
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    Oct 2006
    As someone who has been dating a single mom for the past 3 years, i would have to say that its been a life changing experience for me.

    Since meeting my G/F and her kids, it has been one of the best things my life to date. After hooking up with her and being around her kids, it made me more tame and stopped getting me into shit all time. I've had a very awful life, but after getting involved with them it inspired me to do more things not just for myself, but for other who cared about me too.

    Ive learned so much from them as they have from me. Im not only a good role model to them, but i also the one who teaches them to fix bikes and cars, to use a computer, and be a good human. They taught me to see the world differently, to understand the simple things in life, and to know that I make someones life a little better.

    These arent my biological kids, but I feel after 3 years they're no different.
    My G/F has a great job and i do too. We live together now for 2 years and its been great.

    Take the chance you might like it...

  6. #6
    Regular Array
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    Hmmm...move this question to HBD and then people will be free to offer you some choice advice.

    In the meantime call 1-800-580-866 between 3pm and 7pm tomorrow (Fri.) and ask to speak to Tom.

  7. #7
    Posing with conviction Array heisenberg9's Avatar
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    anyone I can lean against
    Excellent thread.

  8. #8
    Registered User Array
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    i dated a single mom almost nine years ago. when my friend first told me about the idea i was thinking hey its just a date why not. i was thinking it doesnt have to go anywhere. 6 months after we were introduced i asked her to marry me. she had a girl then now we have three kids. its been great. what i can tell you is that just go there with an open mind. im sure she will try and figure things out as well. always keep in mind though that for her, im sure her child will come first. dont sweat it thats how it is. it may be harder for her if you think about it because she has to consider her son and what he feels. in this situation not only will you have to be happy being with her but you will also have to enjoy being with her son.

    dont worry you'll know if its right because you'll be happy.

    good luck.

  9. #9
    Moderator Array Shovelhead's Avatar
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    I have dated and lived with single moms in the past, my last relationship was with a mom of 4, (12, 14, 16, 20) all living at home.
    No regrets but now I have way more time to do things I want to do.

    Always remember one thing, The kids always come first and they know it.
    I was told once by a teenage girl "you know, all I have to do is to tell my Mom that I don't like you and you are gone buddy"

    Lots of pros, like having kids around without having had to change one diaper, and there are lots of cons too.

    I have never discriminated against single moms.
    R.I.P #48 Shoya Tomizawa (December 10, 1990 – September 5, 2010)
    R.I.P. #58 Marco Simoncelli (January 20, 1987 – October 23, 2011)

  10. #10
    High Five Array StrongBad's Avatar
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    I'm a single dad, so single moms appeal to me for, amongst other reasons, they would understand the complexity of my situation. I wouldn't shy away from them just because you don't have kids though. Just like a post above said, don't involve the kids with you until you know you're in it for the long haul. It's not fair to them to have to see many people come and go.

  11. #11
    hanging out at timmies Array
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    i was involved with a single mom 5 years ago. she had a 9 year old girl.
    the child was the best part of the relationship.this relationship went from dating to playing house in 2 months,then turned bad real quick. be carefull
    if it starts moving too fast, back off and slow it down. a single mom can get
    very lonely and overwhelmed with parental responcilbility and read too much
    into any affection and help. my situation ended very bad with 3 people
    emotionaly devastated. be sure what you want and be totaly honest with her and think only with the head thats on top of your shoulders.

  12. #12
    Registered User Array bandito's Avatar
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    If you find the right partner, you should take them with whatever attachments they have.

    I would personally avoid someone who is recently single or divorced. People need time to get past failed relationships.

    It can create serious emotional problems.

    My best friend decided to court my Sister who had recently divorced. Against my advice, he quit his job and moved out of Province to be with her.
    He's realized what a phsyco she is and wants to leave, but is reluctant because of he effect it will have on the kids.

    It's a sad state of affairs to say the least.

  13. #13
    That new bike smell Array mondocycle's Avatar
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    Deal breaker, hell no.
    They need somebody who has child support drama, strings attached and other BS who relates to that shit.
    Log off and ride.
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  14. #14
    Certified lurker Array Triballurker's Avatar
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    I havent ever dealt with the situation cause like you i shyed away from the whole situation...but.

    I think if you eveluate her situation with the father and all that stuff...if its cool then no issues..

    Like a previous poster not meet the kids for a long while till you have a solid relationship built...I was the kid with a mom and a million new sucks big time and leads to "issues".

    Other then that..go meet the girl....its just a meeting right go for it!

  15. #15
    This space for rent Array Stiffler's Mom's Avatar
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    I dated a single mother in my early thirties, and it was fine. We both had a lot of baggage at the time, and it did not work out, but I'm glad I got to know her and her young daughter. Keep your heart open to the idea.
    - Dyslexics of the world, UNTIE!!

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