-Always wheelie over bridges that cross another road (for the pleasure of the ones travelling below)
-Go into corners as fast as you can, and when you see God, hit the brakes...
And when a sportbike runs out wide to negotiate a switchback you should drop in on the inside and ........ observe their technique.......... and when they nearly drop it in surprise when they spot you.... pop a little wheelie on the way to the next corner.......
-When hunting sportsbikes always wait until you get a bunch of them going into a hairpin and pass them all at once...
"Five scalps that time Tonto"
-- Supermoto and fake carbon do not mix.
-tis not kosher to undertake on the public highways and byways.
Besides it's more fun to casually look over from your ...proper... upright position as they scramble to emulate Rossi but with little success......
-Thou shalt modify thy bike from the manufacturers specification at every oppurtunity
It shall break, Thou wilst not sweareth
Thou shalt not covert they neighbours TM ...... thou shalt get one yer Fuckin self
Thou shalt have a fully road legal motorcycle, yeah RIGHT!
Thou shalt perfect the art of the "tactical dismount"
Thou shalt not lie...... unless asked by a representaive of the law as to whether you were speeding and is that can legal
Thou shalt deliberately and with malice aforethought attempt to wheelie in front of onlookers for the sole purpose of demonstrating the cleanliness of thine sump
Thou shalt not replace scuffed parts in the pursuit of vanity,they shall stay on the bike as testimony to your foolishness at falling off, thou shalt gain no "Kudos" from this endeavour
Thou shalt learn to change a rear tire and not fuck it up.
Thou shalt not pay full price for anything, Thou shalt excersize the sacred practice of Blag at all times
Thou shalt be respectful of sportsbike riders and acknowledge there right to be on the same road as thou by passing them at the earliest oppurtunity and saluting their biking prowess with a well pinged stone off your rear wheel into their expensive headlight glass
Thou shalt respect thine wife with a sunday morning post coital hug and not leap off into your leathers whilst her face is still stuffed in the pillow and gasping for air
Thou shalt buy a decent bike stand
Thou shalt know the names of all local hospital Triage nurses
Thou shalt accept a piss ripping for thine own public humiliations with dignity and honour, and get the bastards back at every oppurtinity
-Thou shalt take every oppertunity to let people know what you ride, especially sportsbike riders. Then continue to tell them how good our bikes are, until they get so annoyed with you that they start to get that little vainey thing in their foreheads.
-Thou shalt (when at a trackday with sportsbike riders) make sure they overhear you when stating that your motard is putting out at least 100BHP LESS than their machines... after passing them round the outside of every corner thus pissing them right off!
Also The Motard Prayer
""The path of righteous is beset on all sides
by the fashion slaves and talentless rocket-jocks
And blessed is us, who in the name of Motard are his brothers keeper.
The Motard will corner lower and with greater style , speed & backing-it-in past the TupperWareTorpeedo Jock who attempts twisty bits and fails.
MAY GOD HELP THE POWER-RANGER WHO ATTEMPTS TO
OUT RIDE THE SUPERMOTARD!
FOR WHEN WE LAYITH DOWN THE THROTTLE!!!!
AND HOIST THE GODDAMNED MOTHER OF ALL WHEELIES !!!
YOU WILL KNOWWE ARE