The birds & the bees... and the turtles
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Thread: The birds & the bees... and the turtles

  1. #1
    Wanderer of the Wastes Array DNAspark99's Avatar
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    Apr 2002
    השטן שב

    The birds & the bees... and the turtles

    When I was very young, and the television 'remote' still had a wire that connected it to the set, we'd watch TV as a family. Of course this meant watching good, wholesome programming. One night after the muppet show, we were flicking through the channels, when we switched on to a nature program detailing the lives of giant Galapagos tortoises. We had inadvertently stumbled into the scene of two giant turtles making love. The male 'bull' was mounting behind, slowly thrusting away, making these incredibly deep, growly grunts as a the narrator calmly detailed the scene. Our family sat frozen in shock; my parents uncertain and nervous, as young children we didn't quite know what we were seeing. It was then that my mother burst out in uncontrollable laughter. The tension was eased; and there we sat, laughing our asses off as we watched the turtles demonstrating the beauty of nature. I think this was my first introduction to 'the birds and the bees', and it left me forever scared in some deep, indescribable way.

    I now masturbate furiously to turtle porn; enjoy

    Show me your O face
    Mistaken Identity
    Tortoise Orgy

    and of course:

    I like turtles ... me too lil' Johnny, meeeee too
    Last edited by DNAspark99; 03-08-2009 at 09:56 PM.
    "I dread beyond all else the growth of the petty tyranny of restrictive legislation, the transference of disciplinary authority from the judiciary to the constabulary, the abandonment of every constitutional safeguard of individual liberty."

  2. #2
    Swivel on it Array SkydiveSonic's Avatar
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    Aug 2006
    Quote Originally Posted by DNAspark99 View Post
    If you wanna say something, speak into the mic. It's right above my balls.

  3. #3
    Happy Camper Array BlackScorpion's Avatar
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    Hilarious sounds! Just like my old upstairs neighbors.

    This is among my faves. Watch it until 0:14. Too much booze the night before...
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