Did you know 95% of all Harleys are still on the road?
The other 5% actually made it home.
How do you get 150hp from a Harley?
Trade it in on a Suzuki.
What’s the handgrip on the right handlebar of a Harley for?
It’s the volume control.
Why don’t Harley riders sit on their bikes when the sidestands are down?
They’re afraid to lean over that far.
What’s the difference between a Harley and a Harley owner’s home?
The Harley costs more but only has two wheels.
Is it true that Harleys are chick magnets?
Yes, but only if the chick has a steel plate in her head.
What has an IQ of 87, eleven teeth, wears a 36DDD brassiere and no panties?
The barmaid everyone calls "Magnet".
How can you what kind of motorcycle is ahead of you?
If gets passed by a Vespa on a freeway exit ramp, it’s a Harley.
What do you call a group of Harley Owners with a collective IQ of 140?
How is a Harley Davidson like an old dog?
They both like to ride in the back of pickup trucks.
Why don’t Harley riders wave at sportbike riders?
They don’t want to drop their tools.
Why do Harleys have fringe?
So you can tell if they're moving.
How do you know the hot-rod parts you bought for your Harley are working?
You can finally beat your neighbor’s Camry in a drag race.
How do Harley engineers tell if a bike is worthy of the Harley name?
They check to make sure the exhaust noise in decibels exceeds the horsepower rating.
Why don't Harley riders smile?
If you got conned into paying $25,000 for an underpowered, obsolete piece of $#!+ you wouldn’t be smiling either.
What's the difference between a Harley Davidson and a vacuum cleaner?
The location of the dirt bag.
Which Harley models belong in the new Harley museum?
All of them.
How do you know your Harley is handling great?
You can almost keep up with the bicycles on the canyon roads.
What is the difference between a Harley Davidson and an old dog?
The dog can get in the back of the pickup under its own power.
What’s the difference between a Harley ridden to Sturgis and one that’s trailered there?
The one on the trailer goes about 30mph faster.
Why couldn’t the Harley mechanic repair the doorknob?
Some things can’t be fixed with just a hammer and a rope.
Where can you find the largest collection of Harley jokes in the world?
On the showroom of the Harley mega-store in Milwaukee
Why do Harley owners love chrome?
Makes the parts easier to find when they fall off.
You know you’re a Harley rider if…
…you’re unable to let your bike simply IDLE at a stop light.
…you confuse the word "character" with the more accurate term "engineering flaws.
…"water cooled" means standing on the side of the road, in the rain, waiting for a friend with a pickup truck.