A Canadian blonde's definition of Easter
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  1. #1
    Fuh-coffee we will go Array carbonfibrerocket's Avatar
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    Jul 2006
    Hong Ko-quitlam
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    A Canadian blonde's definition of Easter

    > Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St.Peter.
    > He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell
    > him
    > what Easter represented.
    > The first blonde, an American, said "Easter is a holiday where they have
    > a
    > big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."
    > St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to Hell.
    > The second blonde, a Brit, said "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birth
    > and exchange gifts." St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to
    > Hell.
    > The third blonde, a Canadian, said she knew what Easter was, and St. Peter
    > said,"So, tell me."
    > She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish
    > festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples
    > when He was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested Him. The Romans
    > hung
    > Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb
    > behind a very large boulder... "
    > St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good."
    > Then the blonde continued, "Now, every year the Jews roll away the boulder
    > and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of
    > hockey."
    > St. Peter fainted.
    Quote Originally Posted by bottomfeeder View Post
    Big shitty balls of shit, that's a bastard coated bastard with bastard filling

  2. #2
    +1 Array schmii's Avatar
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    Sep 2009
    2005 Hondabago
    Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in.. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

    An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, 'I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?'

    The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, 'Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick.




    A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa. " Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep.

    The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game.
    The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer.

    Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep.
    Look not for happiness around the corner. Happiness is the corner. IBA#42642

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