Okay, okay. The province is in trouble. All the dough the socialists blew away on stupid projects like the fast cat ferries is playing havoc with the provincial budget. Rather than borrow even more money and adding to the provincial debt, your newly elected common-sense government is making much-needed cutbacks to NDP-inflated government services.
But hey, nobody wants to lose their job or give up the 34% wage increase they feel they deserve, so we’ve got to have some fresh thinking. What do we have to work with?
First, we’ve got three fast ferries that are totally useless. Second, we’ve got retaliatory Softwood-lumber tariffs that make every red-blooded BC cheezehead mad at the Yanks. Third, and most important of all, BC’s biggest cash crop is having difficulty getting into the US thanks to heightened security measures at the border.
Put’em together and you’ve got a great opportunity to thumb our noses at the Americans, stimulate employment, make tons of money, and pay out the provincial debt faster than you can say “WILD FX is a genius.” Take the fast ferries, equip the automobile decks with grow lamps and long wooden tubs, and turn them into marijuana grow-ops.
The ferries can linger in international waters off Vancouver Island safe from the RCMP for several weeks while the hydroponic crop matures, then make a dash for the US coastline under cover of darkness. With their powerful engines, the fast cats should be able to outrun any US Coast Guard gunboats sent to intercept them.
We could man the ferries with green-thumb employees laid off from the Ministries of Environment and Forestry, who would continue to pay their exorbitant income taxes and ever-increasing Canada Pension Plan levies in the best Canuck tradition. After expenses, the money collected from the Americans (“This BC Bud’s for you!”) would be sent to the provincial treasury to pay off the big debt run up by the previous government.
Come to think of it, we could make even more loot by leasing a ferry’s upper decks to Glen Clark’s friends to run as a casino. Never mind the Black Ball ferry to Port Angeles. Think of the fun you’ll have making the blackout run to Seattle in the great Canadian rum-running tradition!