Before I was a MOM

I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Spit on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.
I never held down a screaming child So that doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.

they missed one: I had sex a lot more than twice a month.
ya, ya, ya, mothers tell me, 'oh but it's so worth it'....... whateva! I'll never do it!! NEVER!! People pay me good money to have their kids for the day, and then they go home!! I love it!!! (don't get me wrong, I do love kids, but just not 24/7) I need a life too!!