Rules to Live By
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Thread: Rules to Live By

  1. #1
    Registered User Array Peach's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002

    Rules to Live By

    I know this could probably go under funnies, but I thought it would be appreciated more here.

    1. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.

    2. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

    3. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

    4. If we put a man on the moon - we should be able to put them all up

    5. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

    6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces so that you can tell them apart.

    7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

    8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

    9. Best way to get a man to do something: suggest he's too old for it.

    10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

    11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

    12. The children of Israel wandered in the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

    13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him

    14. Remember: a sense of humour does not mean you tell him jokes; it means you laugh at his.

    15. Sadly, all men are created equal.
    BCSB - Moderator

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  3. #2
    just having fun Array
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    not red

  4. #3

  5. #4
    flying busa

  6. #5
    BBQ Squadron Member Array Dark()Knight's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    BatCave in Van
    ouch ouch ouch
    Be Happy for this moment.... This moment is your life.

    It is not about Anger,
    It's about Peace.
    It is not about Power,
    It's about Grace.
    It is not about knowing your enemy,
    It's about knowing yourself.

  7. #6

  8. #7
    l337 Haxor Array portent's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    gixxer 6
    HAHA Pretty funny... Here you go

    40 things guys wish girls new:

    1) If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

    2) Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put it down.

    3) Don't cut your hair. Ever.

    4) Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present!

    5) If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

    6) Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.

    7) Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and monster trucks.

    8) Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.

    9) Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.

    10) Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

    11) Shopping is not sport.

    12) Anything you wear is fine. Really.

    13) You have enough clothes.

    14) You have too many shoes.

    15) Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it.

    16) Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot, and your dad's way past idiot.

    17) Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

    18) No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

    19) Pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.

    20) Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes - what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

    21) Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

    22) A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

    23) Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.

    24) Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

    25) Check your oil.

    26) Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do.

    27) Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

    28) It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together.

    29) Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

    30) If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

    31) If something we said can be interpreted makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

    32) Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?

    33) Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

    34) You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done-but not both.

    35) Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

    36) Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

    37) Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

    38) Consider golf a mini-vacation from you. We need it, just like you do.

    39) Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty, and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines.

    40) The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.
    How many Microsoft people does it take to change a light
    bulb? None - they just standardize the darkness".

    Unix is the key to eternal happiness

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