WHy Men should wait in the car.....
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Thread: WHy Men should wait in the car.....

  1. #1
    Ridin hard n dirty Array Mr.Sushi ya ha's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    3rd rock from the sun. po co.
    bunch "o" bikes

    WHy Men should wait in the car.....


    *After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on
    her trips to the local convenience store. Unfortunately, like most men, I found
    shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally
    unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to
    browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter
    from the store.

    Dear Mrs. Jacobs,

    Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a
    commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and
    have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our
    complaints against your husband, Mr. Jacobs are listed
    below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

    **1. **June 15**:**Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put
    them in other people's carts when they weren't looking.

    **2. **July 2**:**Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to
    go off at 5-minute intervals.

    **3. **July 7**:**He made a trail of tomato juice on the
    floor leading to the women's restroom..

    **4. **July 19**:**Walked up to an employee and told her in
    an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right
    away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned
    station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in
    turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to
    lose time and costing the company money.

    5. August**4:**Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a
    box of SMARTIES on lay-buy.

    6. August 14**:**Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a
    carpeted area.

    7. August 15**:**Set up a tent in the camping department and
    told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would
    bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to
    which twenty children obliged.

    8. August 23**:**When a clerk asked if they could help him
    he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just
    leave me alone?' Paramedics were called.

    **9. September 4:**Looked right into the security camera and
    used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

    **10. September 10:**While handling knifes in the kitchen
    department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

    **11. October 3:**Darted around the store suspiciously while
    loudly humming the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

    **12. October 6:**In the auto department, he practiced his
    'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

    **13. October 18:**Hid in a clothing rack and when people
    browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

    **14. October 21:**When an announcement came over the loud
    speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO!

    *And last, but not least:*

    **15. October 23:**Went into a fitting room, shut the door,
    waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no
    toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out.*

    Remembering Bill Mclean.
    Having had a colonoscopy......I have now seen where the sun don't shine......(Me)
    Cancer Sucks!!!

  2. #2
    Formerly kanelupis Array CanaganD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    HOly crap that was a good one!

  3. #3
    Registered User Array bacchus40's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    two feet off the ground..
    MIAMI '09 & RAIDER S! '14
    hilarious... most of 'em sound like something me n' my buddy would do... in fact i'm pretty sure
    we've hidden in behind the coats on racks before... classic..!

    the trick is to spread the gags around different stores.. as they tend to actually think you're being funny
    and not kick you out so quick

    Quote Originally Posted by Land Roving
    Life is too short to own ugly motorcycles.

  4. #4
    Don't be stupid. Array Sikorsky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    I got dirty looks at the Terrace Canadian Tire when I paged a friend over the PA asking him to come to the lingerie department.
    The difference between you and me .........

  5. #5
    Do Work Array j.dunne's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    yamaha r1 street, GSXR Race
    Awesome, Great post. Could you imagine the clerks in charge with building this case? lol How can you not just laugh.
    W.M.R.C #828

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