1) Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
2) Your orgasms are real. Always
3) Your last name stays put.
4) You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
5) Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
6) Wedding plans take care of themselves.
7) Chocolate is just another snack.
8) You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
9) Car mechanics tell you the truth.
10) You don't give a rats ass if someone notices your new haircut.
11) If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
12) You can open all your own jars.
13) Wrinkles add character.
14) Wedding Dress $5,000; Tux rental $100.
15) People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
16) One mood, ALL the damn time.
17) Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
18) A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
19) You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
20) If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
21) Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
22) If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong friends.
23) You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
24) You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
25) You almost never have strap problems in public.
26) The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
27) You don't have to shave below your neck.
28) One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
29) You can do your nails with a pocketknife.
30) You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
31) Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, December 24th, in 45 minutes.
32) The world is your urinal.