Hell defined

1. ## Hell defined

HELL EXPLAINED
BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University

of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer

turned in by a student.
The answer by this student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using

Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats

when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing

in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls

are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are

leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can

safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell,

it will not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell,

let's look at the different religions that exist

in the world today.

Most of these religions state that if you are not

a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions

and since people do not belong to more than one

religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can

expect the number of souls in Hell to increase

exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change

of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that

in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell

to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than

the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the

temperature and pressure in Hell will increase

until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the

increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature

and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by

Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will

be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,'

and take into account the fact that I slept with

her last night, then number two must be true,

and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and

has already frozen over. The corollary of

this theory is that since Hell has frozen

over, it follows that it is not accepting any

more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....

leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the

existence of a divine being which explains

why, last night, Teresa kept shouting

'Oh my God.'

_________________________________

"Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible;
and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
~St. Francis of Assisi~

2. Good one.

3. Priceless!!

4. So does this mean were all going to heaven now? Sweet !!!!!

5. This one's always a good laugh, although the wording of this story changes every time I read it. I wish people would stop screwing with what works in the first place!

6. this is as old as the internet.... in fact, they used to pass this story around on stone tablets when Moses was a hitchhiker...

7. first time I have seen that.......

good one

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