Hell defined
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Thread: Hell defined

  1. #1
    hanging out at timmies Array
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    posing with one of my zukes at 7/11
    a suzisomething

    Hell defined


    The following is an actual question given on a University

    of Arizona chemistry mid term, and an actual answer

    turned in by a student.
    The answer by this student was so 'profound' that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using

    Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats

    when it is compressed) or some variant.

    One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing

    in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls

    are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are

    leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can

    safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell,

    it will not leave.

    Therefore, no souls are leaving.

    As for how many souls are entering Hell,

    let's look at the different religions that exist

    in the world today.

    Most of these religions state that if you are not

    a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.

    Since there is more than one of these religions

    and since people do not belong to more than one

    religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

    With birth and death rates as they are, we can

    expect the number of souls in Hell to increase

    exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change

    of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that

    in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell

    to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than

    the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the

    temperature and pressure in Hell will increase

    until all Hell breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the

    increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature

    and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by

    Teresa during my Freshman year that, 'It will

    be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,'

    and take into account the fact that I slept with

    her last night, then number two must be true,

    and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and

    has already frozen over. The corollary of

    this theory is that since Hell has frozen

    over, it follows that it is not accepting any

    more souls and is therefore, extinct..... ....

    leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the

    existence of a divine being which explains

    why, last night, Teresa kept shouting

    'Oh my God.'



    "Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible;
    and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
    ~St. Francis of Assisi~

  2. #2
    Registered User Array
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    Sep 2007
    Good one.

  3. #3
    I survived Richmond! Array silverfox's Avatar
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    surrey BC
    ZX6R 2008

  4. #4
    Katani Kalan Array armchairgm's Avatar
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    So does this mean were all going to heaven now? Sweet !!!!!

  5. #5
    BCSB Public Relations Array kerunt's Avatar
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    Jun 2007
    Starbucks in turn 2.
    This one's always a good laugh, although the wording of this story changes every time I read it. I wish people would stop screwing with what works in the first place!
    "Yamaha" - it's Japanese for "fuck your sports car."

  6. #6
    Registered User Array CanadianBird's Avatar
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  7. #7
    Ridin Dirty Array vstromgreg's Avatar
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    K9 Vstrom 1000, 1979 XS100 Special.
    this is as old as the internet.... in fact, they used to pass this story around on stone tablets when Moses was a hitchhiker...
    Quote Originally Posted by Zug View Post
    Peewee and Kevin from Bayside should get together and start a bike shop called, Fuck you and the bike you rode in on.

  8. #8
    Let the good times roll Array Good Karma's Avatar
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    May 2009
    GSXR 1000
    first time I have seen that.......

    good one

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