50 things girls need to know about guys (dirty)
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Thread: 50 things girls need to know about guys (dirty)

  1. #1

    50 things girls need to know about guys (dirty)

    Written by Anonymous.

    1. If you want to cuddle after sex go buy a teddy bear.

    2. Swallow. Don't start the race if you ain't gonna finish it.

    3. While giving a hand job please remove all rings from your fingers, they hurt really bad.

    4. Shave your shit. Seriously, shave it bald.

    5. Remember that a little blood never hurt nobody.

    6. There is no such thing as a fat, ugly, blow job.

    7. If you ask us to any sort of dance that requires that we wear a tie, we expect a sexual favor in return.

    8. If you used a vibrator and let us watch it might be the greatest moment of our life.

    9. If you wonder why we will not eat you out it is most likely because; it stinks, its hairy, or it stinks and its hairy.

    10. You masturbate and we know it. When you do it just let us watch.

    11. Birth control is the best invention ever. Start poppin those bitches.

    12. Just cause we call you when we are drunk does not mean that we like you. It means that we need some ass.

    `13. Guys night out means guys night out. It doesn't mean that you and your friends meet us at the bar later.

    14. If you wonder why your ass looks fat in those tight pants its because you have a fat ass.

    15. If you are with us and you start to cry for any reason just get up and leave.

    16. Don't think that we don't know that after we take you out and you order a salad to make us think you eat healthy that you go home and order pizza with your fat friends.

    17. Once again, seriously shave your shit.

    18. Just cause you get our dick one night, does not give you any right to get it the next.

    19. If we drink too much, we do not need someone to hold our hair back and act like our babysitter. We have puked before and know how to handle it.

    20. After we are through with you, do not expect to make us jealous by fucking our friends. We really don't care what you do.

    21. If we cheat on you and you never find out about it, then its not cheating.

    22. If we cheat on you and you do find out, at least it wasn't with one of your friends.

    23. Swallow(just in case you forgot #2 already).

    24. We don't have a problem with watching chick flicks as long as we get in your pants after.

    25. Never under any circumstance take a shit while you are around us or fart. Just thinking about it makes us sick.

    26. While giving us head don't be afraid to fondle our testicles, they don't bite.

    27. If you are gonna jerk us off aim properly, a nut can irritate your eye.

    28. Always remember that men are the superior sex and back in the day you had to ask us if you could speak.

    29. If we're about to have sex and we decline because we don't have a rubber its not because we're scared we're gonna get you pregnant, its that we're scared we're gonna catch something from your dirty skank ass.

    30. If you swallow like you should, do not expect us to kiss you after. Sorry that's just the way it is.

    31. I don't care if you do have a flavored condom, you just don't give a blow job with a condom on. Would you like us to eat you out with a dental damn?? I didn't think so.

    32. If we're doing it doggy style there is no reason to turn around and look at us, we're focused on your ass cheeks and that slapping sound.

    33. Blood stains on our bed sheets come off with cold water, so make sure you scrub them thoroughly before leaving.

    34. When we go down on you to munch on your rug and we instantly start sucking on the inner thighs rather than the clit, its because your clit smells like a dead trout.

    35. If you let us donkey punch you we will owe you for life.

    36. Just cause we have sex with you when we are drunk does not mean that you are pretty or that we like you. It means that you were our only choice.

    37. If we dance with you for more than 15 minutes at a bar we expect you to come home with us.

    38. If you think that you are ugly, we probably do too.

    39. Don't count on us saying we love you, its just not going to happen.

    40. If for some reason we do say we love you its only because we want to have sex immediately after we say it.

    41. Just cause you have our phone number doesn't mean we want you to call us. If we want to talk then we will call you.

    42. If you invite us over to watch a movie it would be awesome if we watched a porn instead of a movie.

    43. If you can't dance then you most likely suck in bed. So stop trying to dance and start having more sex.

    44. Hmmmmm......girls in thongs.......yummmmmmmmmm

    45. If you are fat the only way you are going to get anywhere in life is to give great blow jobs. Sorry that's just the way it is.

    46. A sure way to keep a guy around for awhile is to have anal sex with him. We can't put into words how it feels.

    47. You don't have to ask our permission to make out with another chick. Just do it but make sure we are there to watch.

    48. In case you didn't read #4 and #17 let me repeat...Shave your shit!

    49. Guys don't have sex or make love, we fuck.

    50. You can impress us if you can swallow our entire load without dripping or wiping your mouth afterwards.

    Seriously ladies this list is the truth and all guys think this way. If your boyfriend says that he does not agree with these then he is either a fag or he does not have the balls to admit it like I just did. This list is all that you need. Take your pussy Seventeen magazines or whatever the hell that you read and burn them or something, those quizzes in there do not mean shit. I would like to thank all of those who gave input, I couldn't have done it without you.

  2. #2
    Member #827 Array CrotchRocketeer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002

    Ladies, I truly don't think like that... seriously

  3. #3
    Cunning Linguist Array 3 of 7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    The Wet Coast
    1966 CCM

    Classy......you're 12 years old right?

    I’m not crazy, I just need to get off this island. The doctors don’t believe I invented the chocolate éclair. But I did. I’m going to burn them all and drink soup from their skulls! Happy soup! Untie me and I’ll kill you last!

  4. #4
    I just cut and pasted it from another forum, I thought it was kind of funny. It's not meant to be serious.

  5. #5
    Registered User Array NapoleanInRags's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    2016 Aprilia Shiver 750
    Originally posted by mazdarules
    I just cut and pasted it from another forum, I thought it was kind of funny. It's not meant to be serious.
    Call me uptight and humourless, but it sure didn't look too funny to me. Only hurtful and rude..not to mention juvenile.

  6. #6
    Wh0re Array redDevil's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    It's red
    I laughed.

    But seriously, shave your shit. Really. Or at least trim it. Is that asking too much?
    Groovy baby

  7. #7
    You guys need to lighten up, do you think this is actually how I Feel? Of course not, Jump off the PC bandagon and have a little fun once and a while.

    Shave your shit.

  8. #8
    I don't care if this is a joke or not , I don't think its cool to post shit like this! I don't think this way at all , I have respect for women and I don't need some punk fuckin' kid with no bike speaking on my behalf. Guys that think this is cool are pieces of shit!!! in my eyes.

  9. #9
    ice cream poser Array f4i_2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Yeah right!
    hahaha.....i'm with you mazdarules napolean is being overly sensitive. if a girl posted something similar about a guy no one would say anything. lighten up napolean.....and red devil said it best!

  10. #10
    Registered User Array Dalton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    I like my
    k7 gsxr 600
    Get a bike.
    BCSB- Moderator

  11. #11
    Seriously ladies this list is the truth and all guys think this way. If your boyfriend says that he does not agree with these then he is either a fag or he does not have the balls to admit it like I just did.
    LOL! My boyfriend's a fag.

  12. #12
    Registered User Array C-YA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    2005 GSX-R600 - Orca Bay Suzuki
    Those are funny!

    What the hell is donkey punch?????????????

  13. #13
    Registered User Array Digi168's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    2005 FZ6
    I was wondering the same thing, what is Donkey punch?
    WMRC #749

    "You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the US of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the 3 most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon'"

    -Chris Rock

  14. #14
    2 things:
    1. I just bought a 1993 ZX6D, picking it up on Saturday so I do have a bike Dalton.
    2. If you have to ask what donkey punch means, you probably don't want to know (unless you're into that kind of stuff, YUCK)

    Really, I'm serious, shave your shit

  15. #15
    Orangemirage, do you get bitch slapped at home all the time, or just when she's on her rag? I hope your your women wears the pants, judging by your bike color, you're not doing a very good job.
    Last edited by mazdarules; 04-23-2003 at 05:02 PM.

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