[freedom]I cannot believe that upon a forum of thousands, no one has yet posted anything about today's monumental date. So, before reading any further in this post, please press play on this Youtube video, and continue on.
It's not that hard.
Really? Still haven't clicked?
WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SCROLLING WHEN YOU SHOULD BE CLICKING.
Ok, thank you. Now...
IT'S INDEPENDENCE DAY.
Yeah, that's right, it's the day Americans celebrate sloughing off the chafing yoke of colonial might in favour of freedom. Yeah, you heard that right, mafuckin' FREEDOM.
So, before I wander on down the land of the free and the home of the goddamn brave, where owning a gun isn't a luxury but a god-given right enshrined in the single greatest political document ever created, and the question of "is this legal" is more frequently replaced with "hold my beer while I try this," I thought I should at least make a cursory attempt to broaden some horizons with what beloved America has to offer:
1) Freedom. It ain't free.
Reference: Been to the Cascades lately? Come back with your motorcycle still in your possession? I rest my case.
2) Fighter jets.
Reference: The single most awe-inspiring creation devised by man, no one should ever have to back up anything to do with fighter jets with any sort of reference; the mere notion of doing so is an insult to fighter jets everywhere. But, that said, I am not afraid to admit that the pungent aroma of unburned jet fuel, the scream of a pair of F100-PW-229 engines, and the sight of an F15E howling overhead is enough to bring tears to this man's eyes.
3) Guns. Lots of guns.
Reference: It's called Independence Day for a reason. It sure wasn't earned with subsidized housing and health care.
Reference: All of the above.
Now, I love Canada... but I'll be damned if I don't love the good old God-fearing US of A too. America may not only be our greatest trading partner; they're also our greatest ally. In any moment of Canadian need, America has offered up its assistance just as Canadian have offered up their own in time of American need, and both our nations have progressed through much the 19th and 20th centuries benefitting from one of the closest partnerships the world has ever seen.
But I'm not saying America is the greatest country in the world. Far from it. But why should I bother saying anything when Jeff Daniels and Aaron Sorkin can say everything I could ever want to, and so much more? Oh, and btw, for you quick readers, you should probably put that other video away now.
So while I'm down in Point Bob living a few hour's worth of the American dream, enjoying a selection of at-best mediocre beers (if only Portland were as close) and taking in a fireworks show that'll probably feature a mere intro that'll far surpass any complete fireworks show Canada's ever put on in its own honour, I thought I'd share some good old Americana with everyone else. Because 'Murica. That's why. Happy Independence Day to Canada's pretty damned cool neighbour.[/freedom]