WINTER FUEL ALLOWANCE
About this time of the year, older taxpayers will again be receiving another 'Winter Fuel Allowance' payment. This is indeed a very exciting programme, and I'll explain it by using
a Q & A format:
Q. What is a 'Winter Fuel Allowance payment ?
A. It is money that the government will send to taxpayers.
Q. Where will the government get this money ?
A. From taxpayers.
Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?
A. Only a smidgen of it.
Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?
A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase gas and electricity...or a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.
Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?
A. Shut up.
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Canadian Economy by spending your 'Winter Fuel Allowance cheque wisely:
* If you spend the money at Wal-Mart or Costco , the money will go to USA , China ,Taiwan or Sri Lanka
* If you purchase a computer it will go to India , Taiwan or China
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala
* If you buy an efficient car it will go to Japan or Korea
* If you purchase useless stuff it will go to Taiwan
* If you pay off your credit cards or buy shares, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
Instead, keep the money in the Canada by:
1. Spending it at garage sales
2. Going to night clubs
3. Spending it on prostitutes
4. Buying beer or whisky
5. Getting yourself a Tattoo
6. Buy a Lotto ticket
(These are the only Canadian businesses still operating in Canada. )
Conclusion: To Be very patriotic - go to a night club with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a garage sale , and drink beer day and night !
No need to thank me...just glad I could be of help.