You're a Redneck if....
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Thread: You're a Redneck if....

  1. #1
    Angel Girl

    You're a Redneck if....

    You take your dog for a walk and both use the same tree.

    You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a flyswatter.

    Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

    You burn your yard rather than mow it.

    The Salvation Army declines your mattress.

    You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

    You come back from the dump with more than you took.

    You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

    Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

    Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list.

    You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

    You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

    You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

    You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

    You have a rag for a gas cap.

    Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

    You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.

    You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

    Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

    You have a complete set of salad bowls & they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

    Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.

    You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

    A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

    You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

    You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

    You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65 mph.

    Somebody tells you that you've got something in your teeth, so you take them out to see what it is!

    Oh, and you're a redneck if you've already heard this one!!

  2. #2
    Huge Tool Array Andrew's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    North Delta
    2007 DRZ400SM
    So what?
    Blah, blah, blah . . .

  3. #3
    My Twitter: SH1FTG34R Array Sykk_KiLL's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Surrey, B.C
    2008 Yamaha R6
    dosnt apply to me becaus ei'm african american

  4. #4
    Registered User Array C-YA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    2005 GSX-R600 - Orca Bay Suzuki

    Re: You're a Redneck if....

    Originally posted by Angel Girl
    Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV.
    OH HELL YA!!

  5. #5
    Registered User Array Good old Pete's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    2010 Z1000
    That was great!
    When speeding run from the cops, it's a lesser infraction.

  6. #6
    Cunning Linguist Array 3 of 7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    The Wet Coast
    1966 CCM
    well, I guess 3 out of 28 aint too bad...........or is it?
    I’m not crazy, I just need to get off this island. The doctors don’t believe I invented the chocolate éclair. But I did. I’m going to burn them all and drink soup from their skulls! Happy soup! Untie me and I’ll kill you last!

  7. #7
    bastardizer Array HotWheels's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    none, till the boys are older

    Re: You're a Redneck if....

    Originally posted by Angel Girl

    Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
    Don't tell my Father-in Law
    "...than I'll be done and we can dance.."

  8. #8
    Ride to you limits Array clutch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Lower mainland why who wants to know???
    To big and to fast for you
    You might be a rednek if:::

    You own a home is mobile and 14 cars that arent'

    If the most common frase heard in your house is "sombody go giggle the handel"

    If youve been married 3 times and still have the same inlaws

    If your lawn furnature used to be your living room furnature

    If your dog passes gas and you claim it

    If your grandmother can properly exicute the sleeper hold

    If your underwear doubles as your baithing suite

    if you refer to your wife and mother in-law as duel air baGS

    if you wear a dress thats strapless and a bra that isent'

    If sombody hollars "how down" and your girlfriend hits the floor

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