The Shipwreck
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Thread: The Shipwreck

  1. #1
    Registered User Array ecored's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    The Netherlands
    02 BMW F650cs

    The Shipwreck

    There was this male engineer on a cruise ship in the Caribbean for his
    first time. It was wonderful, the experience of his life. He was being
    waited on hand and foot. But, it did not last. A hurricane came up
    unexpectedly. The ship went down almost instantly.

    The man found himself swept up on the shore of an island. There was
    nothing else anywhere to be seen. No person, no supplies, nothing. The
    man looked around. There were some bananas and coconuts, but that was
    it. He was desperate, and forlorn, but decided to make the best of it.
    So for the next four months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice and
    mostly looked to the sea mightily for a ship to come to his rescue.

    One day, as he was lying on the beach stroking his beard and looking
    for a ship, he spotted movement out of the corner of his eye. Could it
    be true, was it a ship? No, from around the corner of the island came
    this rowboat. In it was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen, or
    at least seen in 4 months. She was tall, tanned, and her blond hair
    flowing in the sea breeze gave her an almost ethereal quality. She
    spotted him also as he was waving and yelling and screaming to get her

    She rowed her boat towards him. In disbelief, he asked, "Where did you
    come from? How did you get here"?

    She said, "I rowed from the other side of the island. I landed on this
    island when my cruise ship sank"

    "Amazing," he said, "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many
    of you are there? Where did you get the rowboat? You must have been
    really lucky to have a row-boat wash-up with you?"

    "It is only me", she said, "and the row-boat didn't wash up, nothing
    else did."

    "Well then", said the man, "how did you get the row-boat?"

    "I made the row-boat out of raw material that I found on the island",
    replied the woman. "The oars were whittled from Gum tree branches, I
    wove the bottom from Palm branches, and the sides and stern came from
    a Eucalyptus tree"

    "But, but", asked the man, "what about tools and hardware, how did you
    do that?"

    "Oh, no problem", replied the woman, "on the south side of the island
    there is a very unusual strata of alluvial rock exposed. I found that
    If I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into
    forgeable ductile iron. I used that for tools, and used the tools to
    make the hardware. But, enough of that", she continued. "Where do you
    live?" At last the man was forced to confess that he had been sleeping
    on the beach.

    "Well, let's row over to my place", she said. So they both got into
    the rowboat and left for her side of island. The woman easily rowed
    them around to a wharf that led to the approach to her place. She tied
    up the rowboat with a beautifully woven hemp rope. They walked up a
    stone walk and around a Palm tree, there stood an exquisite bungalow
    painted in blue and white.

    "It's not much", she said, "but I call it home. Sit down please, would
    you like to have a drink?"

    "No", said the man, "one more coconut juice and I will puke."

    "It won't be coconut juice", the woman replied, "I have a still, how
    about a Pina Colada?" Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man
    accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. After a while, when
    they had exchanged their stories, the woman asked, "Tell me, have you
    always had a beard?"

    "No", the man replied, "I was clean shaven all of my life, and even on
    the cruise ship"

    "Well if you would like to shave, there is a man's razor upstairs in
    the cabinet in the bathroom." So, the man, no longer questioning
    anything, went upstairs to the bathroom. There in the cabinet was a
    razor made from a bone handle, two shells honed to a hollow ground
    edge were fastened on to its end inside of a swivel mechanism. The man
    shaved, showered and went back down stairs..

    "You look great", said the woman, "I think I will go up and slip into
    something more comfortable." So she did. And, the man continued to sip
    his Pina Colada. After a short time, the woman returned - this time
    wearing fig leafs strategically positioned and smelling faintly of

    "Tell me", she asked, "we have both been out here for a very long time
    with no companionship. You know what I mean. Have you been lonely? Is
    there anything that you really miss? Something that all men and women
    need? Something that it would be really nice to have right now?"

    "Yes there is", the man replied, as he moved closer to the woman while
    fixing a winsome gaze upon her, "Tell me ... Do you happen to have an
    Internet connection?"
    Woman and machine
    Each completing the other
    Thought becomes action

  2. #2
    Master of Puppets Array Cometman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    New Westminster
    Team Green
    Kind of a lame punchline.

  3. #3
    Registered User Array Miteorite's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Richmond, BC
    heh little long.
    but i find it funny.
    i find it sad that i find it funny.

  4. #4
    You gotta lean into it! Array InvisibleSoul's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Kawasaki Ninja Silver ZX1R Pocketbike (Matching ZX6R Stolen)
    Weak punchline.

  5. #5
    Cunning Linguist Array 3 of 7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    The Wet Coast
    1966 CCM
    wot? she didn't have a bike yet?
    I’m not crazy, I just need to get off this island. The doctors don’t believe I invented the chocolate éclair. But I did. I’m going to burn them all and drink soup from their skulls! Happy soup! Untie me and I’ll kill you last!

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