Having Children in this day and age
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Thread: Having Children in this day and age

  1. #1
    Candy Pants
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    Having Children in this day and age

    Obviously times have changed and many people I've noticed want less and less to do with children. I am personaly one of those people. I think it's almost scary to bring a child into the world the way things are right now.
    There are also so many that are in orphanages and things.

    Do you think having children is selfish or still as safe as it was?

    (by selfish i mean you want one so you have one without thinking of the things around it. IE divorce, murders, kidnappings, the world blowing up...ect)

  2. #2
    Top Gun wannabe Array AviationFuel-ed's Avatar
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    I think I have to agree with you on one hand.

    It sometimes appears that only stupid people are having babies, and are teaching them everything they know. All the smart couples realize that they have a huge responsibility bringing a new life into the world. Therefore fewer "smart" children are born to grow to adulthood, while the world is overrun with crack babies.
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  3. #3
    Registered User Array Commuter Boy's Avatar
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    I've got two. I waited till I found someone who wanted them
    with me, who was willing to work things through instead
    of copping out with divorces and screwing around.
    Third time lucky.

    It's crappy to raise kids in a city, but OTOH, they'll be a lot
    more street savvy than I was growing up in the boonies.

    Selfish? No. They're well loved, smart, strong, clever and
    confident. They'll hopefully grow up to be happy, great
    people. Heck, I should make a few more

    I'm not wealthy or anything, but I think they're getting
    a great upbringing, in a world full of opportunity. They'll
    have a better start than 99% of the kids in the world.
    That makes me feel better about having them.

    Parenting is what you make of it. You're either there 100%
    or your not. If you've got two good parents, you can actually
    still have a life and split the responsibilites well.

    I haven't regretted it for an instant. Well, maybe after one of
    them tossed the shitty diaper in my face, but that was only
    for a moment

  4. #4
    Top Gun wannabe Array AviationFuel-ed's Avatar
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    Oops, wasn't finished yet.

    I don't think it's selfish if you truly know what you are doing, but if you fuck up and get pregnant, or get someone pregnant without being prepared or considering the welfare of the child itself, then yes you are selfish.

    If you have a baby for any other reason than to mold a human being into the best person they can possibly be, and devoting your very own life to acheiving that, than you are doing it for the wrong reason.

    Hope that makes sense.

    Having said that... I will not have a child until I am ready, I will not be ready until I am married and can fully care for a child, and I'm not getting married until I find someone I am fully compatable with and have every hope and intension of staying with that woman in marriage because any baby I have will need both its parents.
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  5. #5
    Shiftless clutcher Array ZoomaFoo's Avatar
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    Having a child was something my wife and I sorted out long before she became pregnant. We had a baby because we honestly believed that, despite all the danger and harsh reality of today's world, we had what it took to raise a healthy, happy child in a stable, loving and safe home environment. We didn't want to simply create a carbon-copy of one/both of us, but rather help nurture her as her own person, so that she would grow up to be a strong, independent individual who is confident in herself, but still respectful of other people and of the world around her.

    My wife and I have been married almost ten years now, and our daughter just turned five years old. Although we're not perfect parents (who is?), I think my wife and I have been doing a pretty good job. I've always worked a 9-5 job but so far, my wife has been able to arrange her work around our daughter. We've had the occasional babysitter, but otherwise it's been my wife as full-time mom, and me trying to be the best father I can when I'm home after work and on weekends, which means our daughter hasn't spent the first five years of her life in daycare. For that, we are so thankful, since you don't get any of that time back again, and many other families (ie. single moms) don't get to do that.

    We live in an area where rent - and the general cost of living - is relatively high; we could move somewhere cheaper and be better off financially, but the neighbourhood, school and general quality of life for us and our daughter here is too good to give up. Some things are more important than cheaper rent.

    When our daughter was in a toddler program at the local rec centre, she heard a little boy's mom say to him, "If you do that once more, you'll get a spanking!" Our daughter immediately turned to my wife and said, "I want one, too!" My wife said, "One what?" and she answered, "A spanking!" The other mom looked puzzled and said, "Doesn't she know what a spanking is?" and my wife replied, "No, she doesn't." For all our daughter knew, a spanking must have been a toy or a treat of some kind. She had no idea it involved getting hit, since she'd never experienced that.

    I do respect those people who make a conscious decision to not have children; better to make that decision and stick with it than get careless and end up having children that you regret/resent later on.

    We didn't have a child to be fashionable, to try to save a relationship, or by accident; we loved each other and believed a child would only make a good thing even better, and thought we'd be able to provide a good home and upbringing for the her. Sure, some things would have been 'easier' without having had a baby (ie. more time & money for other things), and it's not all sunshine and roses 24/7, but we have never once regretted our choice, and wouldn't trade our daughter for anything. She's smart, funny, healthy, happy and beautiful, and we never dreamed it would be this good.
    Last edited by ZoomaFoo; 08-04-2003 at 01:00 AM.
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  6. #6
    Dark lurker Array VictorEric's Avatar
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    It sometimes appears that only stupid people are having babies, and are teaching them everything they know. All the smart couples realize that they have a huge responsibility bringing a new life into the world. Therefore fewer "smart" children are born to grow to adulthood, while the world is overrun with crack babies.
    By this deduction, the human race going extinct.
    Back on the saddle.


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  7. #7
    Antares
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    Re: Having Children in this day and age

    Originally posted by Candy Pants
    Obviously times have changed and many people I've noticed want less and less to do with children. I am personaly one of those people. I think it's almost scary to bring a child into the world the way things are right now.
    There are also so many that are in orphanages and things.
    That thought often crosses my mind. I see all these people who don't have the money, time, or patience to properly raise children, or people who don't even want their own kids...it's quite sad.

    I remember every November at the Rememberance Day assembly, we'd be reminded of how lucky we are to grow up in a time without threat of war...scary how we just came thisclose to having a third World War, thanks to a bunch of lunatic religious fanatics and a trigger-happy Bush. I wonder what the chances are of the next generation escaping the possibility of a nuclear holocaust.

    I do still want to have my own kids...I mean the next generation needs some non-crackheads to balance things out, right? I would also love to adopt or take foster children, if I have the means (heh...I hope I'll be filthy rich ).

    AviationFuel-ed, your post made me laugh ...but in a sad way , cuz it's so true.

  8. #8
    Registered User Array Human's Avatar
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    Originally posted by VictorEric
    By this deduction, the human race going extinct.
    If only we could be so lucky, no unfortunately, we will exist while everything else we touch will die and wither....

  9. #9
    auger
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    Nopers,I dont want kids.I get enough when I visit my brothers kids.

    I enjoy my freedom .

  10. #10
    Candy Pants
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    Im not trying to demean anyone as parents and say your relationships won't last. I don't want kids because i walk down the streets scared. I AM SCARED. Why would I want to raise a child in a world with guns murderers and kidnappers. IVY well said it may be sad that i don't want children but I don't like the thought that there are so many kids out there right now without homes. Alot of people have kids think of it as a pet and set it loose oh it's getting to big, oh it's not what i expect see you later little timmy go get sodomized in the harsh world by some petaphile freak.
    It's harsh but true it's not that i don't feel i couldn't love it enough, it's that i don't think it's fare.

  11. #11
    Registered User Array 2wheelbandit's Avatar
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    I jus want a kid so i can buy him a pocketbike, hed be the coolest kid in grade school.
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  12. #12
    GoPro Inspector Array FOXGURL's Avatar
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    IMO I think even if you do plan to have children you're never really "ready" for them. I planned my first, second happend on his own lol. I dont regret having them at all, having kids is a gift that most people never get to experience and yes some experience it and shouldnt have had the right to. If you're worried about raising kids in this day and age then dont have them, to each his/her own. I for one am not going to raise my kids to be afraid of everything outside, I'm going to raise my kids to be prepared for it and teach them how to take care of themselves while they live in it, and also help them out when they need it. I'm a single mother and I'm doing a damn good job of it, not all families need 2 parents to be complete. Yes its hard, but what in this world isnt?

  13. #13
    T-Rat
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    Originally posted by Candy Pants
    Im not trying to demean anyone as parents and say your relationships won't last. I don't want kids because i walk down the streets scared. I AM SCARED. Why would I want to raise a child in a world with guns murderers and kidnappers. IVY well said it may be sad that i don't want children but I don't like the thought that there are so many kids out there right now without homes. Alot of people have kids think of it as a pet and set it loose oh it's getting to big, oh it's not what i expect see you later little timmy go get sodomized in the harsh world by some petaphile freak.
    It's harsh but true it's not that i don't feel i couldn't love it enough, it's that i don't think it's fare.

    I think alot of what you say is probably media driven. There is so much of it and we are saturated to death with all the gory details of whatever it is at the time (war,murders,etc.) I think if we got rid of the media the world would seem like a much nicer place to be. (Less Scary)

  14. #14
    Dark lurker Array VictorEric's Avatar
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    IMO I think even if you do plan to have children you're never really "ready" for them. I planned my first, second happend on his own lol. I dont regret having them at all, having kids is a gift that most people never get to experience and yes some experience it and shouldnt have had the right to. If you're worried about raising kids in this day and age then dont have them, to each his/her own. I for one am not going to raise my kids to be afraid of everything outside, I'm going to raise my kids to be prepared for it and teach them how to take care of themselves while they live in it, and also help them out when they need it. I'm a single mother and I'm doing a damn good job of it, not all families need 2 parents to be complete. Yes its hard, but what in this world isnt?
    I think raising kids is very much you (personally) make of it. If you're scared about the world, then your kids will be raised that way. Like Foxgirl proves, you could reverse that.

    I will be having my first child soon (real soon) and although we're first time parents, we are ready for it. (as much as one could be I guess.) We've talked about values and principles we want to instill in our child and have also talked about the world that we are in. So, in that sense, we will try to make the best of this world that the baby will come into.
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  15. #15
    NewfieNinja
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    Well said, T-Rat!! I think that having children is a very personal choice, whether you're married or single. I do agree that there are people out there who should not be parents ( I've met a few!!), and I've met people who should be parents, but for some reason, can't. But, Foxgurl is right....you can't let outside influences put you off from children. Sure, this world is a pretty crappy place right now. But, that's not the fault of the future generations. It's up to the parents to help teach their kids about dealing with the negative aspects, and that's where the responsibility comes into it.

    That's all I have to say about that!!

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