Canadian Tourism
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Thread: Canadian Tourism

  1. #1
    Exothermic Array USUAL SUSPECT's Avatar
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    Jul 2003
    west van
    TL1000,GSXR 750, dead Busa

    Canadian Tourism

    Canadian Tourism
    These questions about Canada were posted on an International
    Tourism website and obviously the answers came from a fellow

    1. Q: I have never seen it warm on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
    A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
    them die.

    2. Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
    A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

    3. Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
    A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. . .

    4. Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
    A: So its true what they say about Swedes.

    5. Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places
    to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
    A: Let's not touch this one.

    6. Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you
    send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and
    Halifax? (UK)
    A: What did your last slave die of?

    7. Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
    Canada? (USA)
    A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
    Ca-na-da is that big country to your North. Oh forget it. Sure, the
    Hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

    8. Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
    A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get
    here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

    9. Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
    A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

    10. Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
    A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y,
    which is. Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every
    Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the
    hippo races. Come naked.

    11. Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
    A: No, WE don't stink.

    12. Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
    Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
    A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

    13. Q: Can I wear high heels in Canada? (UK)
    A: You are an American politician, right?

    14. Q: Can you tell me the regions on Bristish Columbia where the
    female population is smaller than the male population?(Italy)
    A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

    15. Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
    A: Only at Thanksgiving.

    17. Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all
    year round? (Germany)
    A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers.
    Milk Is illegal.

    18. Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Canada who can dispense
    rattlesnake serum. (USA)
    A: All Canadian rattle snakes are perfectly harmless, and can be
    safely handled and make good pets.

    19. Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I
    forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
    A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent eating the
    brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them
    off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out

    21. Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the
    girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
    A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

    22. Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
    A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

    «..·´`·.(*·.¸(`·.¸ ¸.·´)¸.·*).·´`·..»
    «.·´,`·.(¸.·*(¸.·´ `·.¸)*·.¸).·´,`·.»
    Rest in peace Bogdan, Julia & Dan, We’ll ride again.

  2. #2

    Alternative answer to Question #1

    Originally posted by USUAL SUSPECT

    1. Q: I have never seen it warm on TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
    A. We grow all our important plants in hydroponic conditions, stored in locked, secure basements and garages throughout Western Canada.

  3. #3
    Entertainment Poster Guy Array rearwheelrider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Da Village
    05 750 gixxer (no,seriously)

    Re: Alternative answer to Question #1

    Originally posted by BikerGirl
    A. We grow all our important plants in hydroponic conditions, stored in locked, secure basements and garages throughout Western Canada.
    that's a trick question.....the correct answer should of been "what plants? ....plants?....who's got plants?

    That thread is the best. Props to posting it up

    People who never do any more than they get paid for never get paid for any more than they do.
    – Albert Hubbard

  4. #4
    Now that was funny!!

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