Barbie Dolls Inc. Announces The Release Today of
Limited Edition Barbie Dolls for the Vancouver Market:
West Van Barbie:
This princess Barbie is only sold at Oak Ridge (at selected
stores only). She comes with assortment of Kate Spade handbags, a Lexus, a lapdog and a 2 million dollar house. Options include tummy tuck, face lift, spa certificates for Tiba, and a workaholic cheating husband Dr.Ken.
This trendy homemaker Barbie is available with the
Lexus SUV or Ford Windstar minivan gets lost easily,
and has no full time occupation or secondary
education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately. Optional matching gym outfit.
East Van Barbie:
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun,
a Ray Lewis knife, a slammed Chevrolet with oversized
wheels and tinted windows and a Methadone Clinic Ken.
Also available in a jailbird version with orange coveralls.
This yuppie Barbie comes with choice of a BMW sports
car or a souped up Hummer 2, Starbucks cup, credit
card and shallow Ken.
This white-trash model comes in Wrangler jeans two
sizes too small, a NASCAR shirt, big hair, a six pack
of Coors Light and a Hank, Jr. CD set. She can spit
over 5 feet and she can kick Ken's a$$ when she's
drunk. A pickup is available with Confederate flag
The Parkside version has a mouth that is firmly
closed so as not to show her summer teeth, Daisy Dukes
and a half T-shirt that guarantees you can see her navel piercing and
at least 5 tattoos. Both versions swear incessantly and are not recommended for children. She is a GRCC drop-out, and has never made it out of what she calls "the rockin' grove"
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie still has
not learned that you can't wear high-heeled sandals
from Payless with no pedicure and without breaking a
heel and falling while you chase your beer gutted
mullet wearing boyfriend. Her make-up is dark red lip
liner with lips covered in a sparkly pink color or no
fill-in at all. Her ensemble includes low-rise
acid-washed jeans with assorted colored G-strings that
stick out the back of her jeans, a white barely-there see-through shirt. Her long, layered hair is bleached/highlighted and BIG.
Accessories include: CD-player equipped with Bon Jovi, and a 1996 Camaro Z-28.
Maple Ridge Barbie:
This Barbie is the same model of Barbie that was
released in 1982. She comes with shoulder pads, dark
Polyester skirt, white pantyhose and a bad haircut.
Options include a Rick James T-shirt, Wal-Mart purse
and outdated shoes.
This flannel wearing Barbie comes with her own 4-H ribbon collection,
brown pick up truck and blue eye shadow! She's a country girl at heart
with cow manure odored boots (scratch and sniff the soles for a realistic dose of country fun) Cowboy Ken is toothless and also clad in red and black flannel check shirt.