Turns out nothing is more true than the saying "ignorance is bliss". Up until yesterday I'd been running my computer for a year with no anti-virus software without any trouble. I thought I'd try a trial version of an anti-virus program to see if my system is clean. Well as soon as I install the virus program it tells me I have x number of viruses. GREAAAT, the smart thing to do would have been to delete the virus program and go back to being ignorant, but since I'm writing this I'm obviously not smart.
Ok so now I try to go about fixing things, which in retrospect was one of the stupidest things I've ever done since I know just about nothing about computers. OK, so then windows stops working, so I reinstall it, I think. Anyways it's working now, somewhat, I'm getting all kind of error messages, and now it takes about 5 times longer to open or load anything including windows itself.
Basically, I need someone's help to fix all this shit up, someone who DEFINATELY knows what the hell they are doing. I'm willing to pay that person a VERY reasonable sum to help me out, so long as it's less than what I would pay a computer shop to fix it up.