To the two asshats who sat in front of me at the Canucks game yesterday:
You smell like shit. I'm serious. Most people who ask for spare change on the street smell better than you. Your body odor was so offensive that everyone around you wanted to puke. You probably didn't notice how the girl sitting next to you made her boyfriend change seats with her because of the vile stench. Now I know what it smells like when you don't bathe for a week before a hockey game.
Also, would you shut the fuck up already. You spent so much time chatting that it's amazing you actually noticed when someone scored. And I'm sure the guy in front of you didn't mind how you spilled beer on him and didn't even apologize.
Oh, and thank you for arriving late and leaving early for every period. Everybody in your row appreciated having to stand up and stop breathing three minutes before and after each intermission so that your fat sweaty asses could get by.
This was probably my only playoff game this season and you ruined it for me. Fuck you. Fuck you very much. You don't deserve to be at GM Place. Playoff games are for real fans.
PS: Go Canucks!