Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow-down in overall system performance - particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, installation of Husband 1.0 seems to have crashed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5.
Also, I didn't install NFL 5.0, NHL 3.0. or Golf Clubs 4.1., but they run constantly and I can't get them to shut down!!
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but that freezes the I/O ports.
What can I do?!
First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 is a high-end Entertainment
System geared toward the running of fast paced games like Romantic Weekend Getaway 3.3 and Casino Adventure 3.2 and even Virtual Reality applications such as Happily Ever After 5.8 and Kight in Shining Armor 1.4; while Husband 1.0 is an Operating System geared toward the running of less intensive but more standard applications such as Grocery Shopping 1.0, Mortgage 2.4 and Checkbook Bounce 4.7. They were designed for two very different purposes!
Try entering the command: "I_Thought_You_Loved_Me.exe"
If that doesn't work, download Tears 6.2. from our support site.
Don't forget to install the Guilt 3.0 updater, which has additional
device drivers that might help you shut down the NFL 5.0, NHL 3.0. and Golf Clubs 4.1. programs.
If the I_Thought_You_Loved_Me.exe program works as designed, Husband 1.0 should reboot and include the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5 in it's startup sequence. If your system isn't too messed up you may even get Conversation 8.0 restarted.
But, be careful, while this solution will definitely work the first few
times, overuse can cause CRC errors in Husband 1.0's registry tables.
While Husband 1.0 does come with diagnostic subroutines like the new Self Awareness Beta, it still relies heavily on the older applications like Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1 while trying to self diagnose.
Be warned -- Beer 6.1 is a dangerous program that causes unpredictable and slow system responses. Beer 6.1 now also loads the Snoring Loudly Beta.
There are reported bugs in the Snoring Loudly beta module that indicate that it embeds itself into the system so that even closing down Beer 6.1 won't stop the Snoring Loudly beta from running! It's believed that the Snoring Loudly beta actually writes itself into the base operating system of Husband 1.0 after it runs the first time.
When Happy Hour 7.0 is running the system is succeptable to the
Girlfriend 1.0 Trojan. This nasty virus attacks the Husband 1.0 Wallet.dat system resouce file. You might also notice higher usage of system drivers like the CellPhone.drv, and see programs like Late Night At The Office 1.2 running in
the background. Eventually Husband 1.0 will become totally unresponsive to both keyboard or local system interrupts. If you get the Girlfriend Trojan virus, you'll need a complete system reconfiguration!
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0! On most system, it loads a virus in the background which will eventually seize control of all your system resources. The only remedy for the Mother-in-Law virus is to reformat your drive which will effectively erase all of your previous Husband 1.0
If you need to start over, we recommend Divorce 1.0. With the optional, but more expensive Lawyer 6.66 extensions, you may be able to retain a fair portion of your previous Husband 1.0's resources, though this usually depends on how badly embedded the Mother-in-Law 1.0 virus is.
Finally, DO NOT attempt to reinstall Boyfriend 5.0 while you're still
using your Husband 1.0 formatted hard drives! There are major
incompatibilities in file sharing settings which will eventually crash both your Boyfriend 5.0 and Husband 1.0 configurations. At that point, it will require a complete wipe with fresh hardware AND software to fix -- and chances are you will lose everything even with the Lawyer extensions on your Divorce program.
Husband 1.0 is a very popular system even though some of it's newer self-diagnostics are a little buggy, its got limited memory management utilities, and a smaller application suite. There are millions who continue to use Husband 1.0 for sentimental reasons, and it's got a huge, loyal fan base even with all it's bugs, quirks and inconsistances.
With proper maintenance and some regular application of Patience 9.9 you should be able to get years of service from you Hustand 1.0 installation.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance -- we recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.