Three Texas Surgeons were playing golf and discussing surgery they had performed.

One of them said, “I am the best surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident. I re-attached them and eight months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.”

One of the others said, “That’s nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident. I re-attached them and two years later he won a gold medal in field events in the Olympics.”

The third surgeon said, “you guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling eighty miles per hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now he's president of the United States.”