The funeral
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Thread: The funeral

  1. #1
    Cunning Linguist Array 3 of 7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    The Wet Coast
    1966 CCM

    The funeral

    A woman's husband dies. He had $20,000 to his name.
    After everything is done at the funeral home and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that there is no money left.

    The friend says, "How can that be? You told me he had $20,000 a few days before he died. How could you be broke?"

    The widow says, "Well, the funeral cost me $6,000. And of course, I had to make the obligatory donation for the church and the organist and all. That was $400 and I spent another $400 for the wake, food and drinks, you know.

    The rest went for the memorial stone."

    The friend says, "$13,200 for the memorial stone? My God, how big is it?"

    The widow says, "Three carats."
    I’m not crazy, I just need to get off this island. The doctors don’t believe I invented the chocolate éclair. But I did. I’m going to burn them all and drink soup from their skulls! Happy soup! Untie me and I’ll kill you last!

  2. #2
    You gotta lean into it! Array InvisibleSoul's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Kawasaki Ninja Silver ZX1R Pocketbike (Matching ZX6R Stolen)
    What a dumb way to spend the money... it was HER money.

  3. #3
    no doubt, was she blond?

  4. #4
    Lay off, she may have had to share with her in-laws or something.
    It's a good joke.

    Here's another:

    An Englishman waiting to tee-off sees a funeral procession going by. It was a strange looking affair, the casket and the pall bearers were led by a man who had a dog by a leash and the rest of the people were walking in a straight line behind the casket. Unable to resist his curiosity, he goes up to the man with the dog and asks " Excuse me for troubling you on such a sad occasion. but I have never seen such a string funeral. the dog and all the people walking in a straight line???"

    The man with the dog answers "This is my wife's funeral."

    "But why the dog?" asks the Englishman.

    "She died because this dog here bit her," said the man with the dog.

    "Very sorry to hear that. Would you mind if I borrow the dog for a while?"

    "Sure" says the man with the dog, "get to the back of the line."

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