What a happy feel good story:
<table width="" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"> <tbody><tr><td>May 17 2004
</td></tr><tr><td> Camper van thief siphons off raw sewage instead of diesel
</td></tr> <tr><td colspan="2">By Calum Macdonald
</td></tr> </tbody> </table> A BUNGLING thief tried to siphon diesel from a camper van but got a mouthful of raw sewage.
The would-be raider missed the fuel tank in the dark and put a tube into the van's septic tank by mistake.
And after sucking up the foul-smelling waste, he threw up on the spot and fled.
Pensioner John O'Hare found a puddle of vomit and an abandoned petrol container when he stepped out of the van in the morning.
And last night he smiled: 'I hope the thief has learned from his experience and given up his evil ways.'
John, 73, and wife May, 69 of Arden, Glasgow had spent a week touring Scotland before stopping off for the final night of their holiday in Helensburgh, Dunbartonshire.
John said: 'We made sure everything was safe and secure and settled down for the night. The following morning we were disgusted to find that under the cover of darkness a thief had attempted to siphon off diesel from the fuel tank.
'But fortunately for us, he was left with a nasty taste in his mouth.'
John found a plastic siphon tube and an empty fuel container next to their camper.
The contents of the septic tank had been drained and lay on the ground next to a pool of the thief's vomit. Also abandoned at the scene was a pile of pound coins which John believes may have been stolen from a vending machine earlier in the night.
John and May donated the abandoned pound coins to Oxfam.
John said: 'We hope this thief will give up robbing visitors and tourists seeking a peaceful and pleasant holiday after what happened to him.'