A woman sent me this...found some of it funny (women vs men jokes)
(some of it maybe repeat..dunno),
Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had set their new wives straight on their duties.
The first man had married a woman from Ontario and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it took a couple dayz but on the third day he came home to clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.
The second man had married a woman from Quebec. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and cooking. He told them that the first day he didnt see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.
The third man had married a New Brunswick girl. He boasted that he told her his house was to be cleaned, dishes washed, the cooking done and laundry washed every day. And this was all her responsibility. He said the first day he didnt see anything and the second day he didnt see anything but by third day some of the swelling had gone down so he could see a little out of his left eye.
He said .. She said
He said.. I dont't know why you wear a bra; your've got nothing to put in it. She said... You wear pants don't you?
He said.. Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said.. Thats a good idea, you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa.
He said.. What have you been doing with all the grocery money i gave you? She said..Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
On the wall in a ladies room.." My husband follows me everywhere" Writen just below it.. " I do not"
Q.How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A.Both of them.
Q.How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A.He buys two cases of beer.
Q.What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A.The bonds mature
Q.Why are blonde jokes so short?
A.So a man can remember them
Q.How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know; its never happened.
Q.Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A.They already have boyfriends
Q.What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow
Q.Why are married women heavier than single women?
A.Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in the bed and go to the fridge.
Q.What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
Man says to God:"God, why do you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
But God," the man says,"why did you make her so dumb?"
God says:"So she would love you."