anyone ride a new liter bike when hammered lately?
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Thread: anyone ride a new liter bike when hammered lately?

  1. #1

    anyone ride a new liter bike when hammered lately?

    it's fukin damn near impossible.

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  3. #2
    Rock bottom here I come Array Dalma's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    2002 Honda VFR800
    oh duh

  4. #3
    V Lister Array BLADERUNNER 954's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    your girlfriend
    fer me max 3 beers. i value my life and my family too much

  5. #4
    Cunning Linguist Array 3 of 7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    The Wet Coast
    1966 CCM
    I love booze, but my limit when riding is nada, nuthin , zilch

    You can get away with a few drinks in a car, but on a street bike, if you drink.....your gonna be road paste....Darwins Law (it's a pretty decent law, BTW)
    I’m not crazy, I just need to get off this island. The doctors don’t believe I invented the chocolate éclair. But I did. I’m going to burn them all and drink soup from their skulls! Happy soup! Untie me and I’ll kill you last!

  6. #5
    slow poke
    not that i can recall, unless i was too drunk to remember....

  7. #6
    rain? whats that! Array REVELATIONS's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    SV 1000s
    'thats unpossible'..........try riding a BICYCLE FIRST!!!

  8. #7
    if you dont remeber it, it didnt happen

  9. #8
    Registered User Array JN_R1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2004
    2003 R1
    I refuse to even have one drink then get on my litre - won't ever happen. I had a couple drinks last week - ended up walkin to my buds home where my bike was parked - slept till next morning got up and rode it home - I value everything too much to drink and ride it.

    "Men judge generally more by the eye than by the hand, for everyone can see and few can feel. Every one sees what you appear to be, few really know what you are ." Niccolo Machiavelli

  10. #9
    Gixxa Array Rioghan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    rode a 50cc dirtbike one time when i was smashed... didnt pan out to well..

  11. #10
    You gotta lean into it! Array InvisibleSoul's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Kawasaki Ninja Silver ZX1R Pocketbike (Matching ZX6R Stolen)
    to the non-riding drinkers.

    SilverHeartz rode home after having a drink or two last week and I chewed her out.

  12. #11
    Wanderer of the Wastes Array DNAspark99's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    השטן שב
    minimum 3, that's primetime baby!
    "I dread beyond all else the growth of the petty tyranny of restrictive legislation, the transference of disciplinary authority from the judiciary to the constabulary, the abandonment of every constitutional safeguard of individual liberty."

  13. #12
    how much is hammered?............try taking down a 26 and then if u can find your bike and manage to put the keys in ignition helmet on etc........u should be good to go........odds are u'lll be laying on the ground with the bike on top of u before u even get a chance to push the start button

  14. #13
    Moderator Array TeeTee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Out to pasture in the 'Wack
    04 Kawi Z1000,
    The first drink is free, the second one makes me forget to put one foot down, the third puts the other foot to sleep. After that it's all downhill....

    I'll have one beer and ride but that's IT.
    A backyard mechanic without a service manual is just like a hooker without a lamp pole.... they are both in the dark.

  15. #14
    ...... Array Team Green 9R's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Same with Tee Tee 1 Beer....done!

  16. #15

    The Vodka Scooter...

    This explains so much..

    The Vodka Scooter...
    How many times have you woken up in the morning after a hard night drinking and thought, 'How on earth did I get home?'
    As hard as you try, you cannot piece together your return journey from the pub to your house.
    The answer to this puzzle is that you used a 'Vodka Scooter’.
    The Vodka Scooter is a mythical form of transport, owned and leased to the drunk by Bacchus, the Roman God of Wine.
    Bacchus has acquired a large batch of these magical devices.
    The Vodka Scooter works in the following fashion:
    The passenger reaches a certain level of drunkenness and the "slurring gland" begins to give off a pheromone. Bacchus or one of his many sub-contractors detects this pheromone and sends down a winged Vodka Scooter.
    The scooter scoops up the passenger and deposits them in their bedroom via a Trans-Dimensional Portal. This is not cheap to run, so a large portion of the passenger's in-pocket cash is taken as payment. This answers the second questions after a night out, 'How did I spend so much money?'
    Unfortunately, Vodka Scooters have a poor safety record and are thought to be responsible for over 90% of all UDI (Unidentified Drinking Injuries), such as bruised legs, poorly toes and a sore spot on the top of your head.
    An undocumented feature of the Vodka Scooter is the destruction of time segments during the trip. The nature of Trans-Dimensional Portals dictates that time will be lost, seemingly unaccounted for.
    This answers a third question after a night out,
    'What the hell happened?'
    With good intentions, Bacchus opted for the REMIT (Removal of Embarrassing Moments In Time) add on, that automatically removes, in descending order, those parts in time regretted most.
    Unfortunately one person's REMIT is not necessarily the REMIT of another's and quite often, lost time is regained in discussions over a period of time.
    Independent studies have also shown that Beer Goggles often cause the Scooter's navigation system to malfunction thus sending passengers to the wrong bedroom, often with horrific consequences.
    For the young ladies, Vodka Scooters come equipped with flowers picked from other people's garden and Thump-A-Lot boots (Patent Pending). These boots are designed in such a way that no matter how quietly you tip-toe up the stairs, you are sure to wake up your downstairs neighbours. Special anti-gravity springs ensure that you bump into every wall in the house and the CTSGS (Coffee Table Seeking Guidance System) explains the bruised shins.
    The final add-on Bacchus saw fit to invest in for some Scooters is the TAS (Tobacco Absorption System). This explains how one person can apparently get through 260 stolen Marlboro Lights in a single night.
    P.S. Don't forget the on-board heater, which allows you to comfortably get home from the pub in sub-zero temperatures, wearing just a small outfit.

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