it's life jim. and it's unavoidable!
It's Life Jim. and it's unaviodable..
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not
walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk
beside me, I'm on a bicycle.
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a
broken fan belt and a flat tyre.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going
to steal your neighbour's milk, that's the time to do
4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you
aren't getting any.
5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced,
you can't be promoted.
6. No one is listening until you fart.
7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone
8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try
missing a couple of mortgage payments.
10. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a
mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise
them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach
him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink
beer all day.
13. If you lend someone 20 quid and never see that
person again, it was probably worth it.
14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember
15. Some days you are the pigeon, some days you are
16. Don't worry, it only seems "kinky" the first time.
17. Good judgement comes from bad experience, and a lot
of that comes from bad judgement.
18. The quickest way to double your money is to fold
it in half and put it back in your pocket.
19. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
20. There are two theories about arguing with women. Neither of them works.
21. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when
your lips are moving.
22. Experience is something you don't get until just
after you need it.
23. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
24. We are born naked, wet, and hungry, get slapped on
our arses...and then things get worse.
man that was hilarious,i was having a rough morning and that put a big ass smile on my face.it's a great way to look at things,thanks owl!!