Insanity In The Workplace: A How To Guide
How To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity In The Workplace.
Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)
Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits.
Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially
effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.)
Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by
these names. "That's a good point, Sparky." "No, I'm sorry. I'm going
to have to disagree with you there, Chachi."
Send email to the rest of the company telling them what you're doing.
For example "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."
"Highlight" your shoes. Tell people that you haven't lost your shoes
since you did this.
While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive."
Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.
Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you're
waiting for your document.
Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time
for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting. During
the meeting eat 5 entire raw potatoes.
Insist that your e-mail address be
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want
fries with that.
Send email to yourself engaging yourself in an intelligent debate
about the direction of one of your company's products. Forward the
mail to a co-worker and ask her to settle the disagreement.
Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair
Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN."
Determine how many cups of coffee is "too many."
Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.