This is from the sport-touring.net site and I'm suprised no one coppied it earlier. It's very funny.
So, I get off work yesterday evening and head out to my bike in the parking structure. As I walk up to the section where we park our bikes (handful of riders park in the front section of the structure) I see a guy LEANING on my bike, chatting up some hot chick who apparently just came out from the neighboring gym. As I walk up behind him, I can hear him telling her how much he enjoys riding, the thrill and danger, using his 'skills' to avoid bozos in cars, etc., etc. Part of me wants to throw him to the ground for leaning on my bike, but part of me is curious about what the hell is going on. So, I walk up to the other side of my bike and patiently wait a moment while he continues to blather on about what a biker he is, how much he enjoys riding "his" bike, how fast it is (as he's twisting MY throttle grip), etc.
Then it hits me (sometimes I'm a little slow)... This POSER is using my bike to hit on this chick! Yuck! Now my bike needs a bath! The chick is looking at me like, "who's this guy in the leather jacket?" so I pull out my keys and unlock the saddle bag with my helmet in it and swap my helmet for my bag. The sound finally gets the guys attention and he turns around and looks at me all confused. I say "excuse me while I get my gear out" and he about leaps out of his shoes as he get his ass of my bike. Chick looks at him like, WTF? He can't think of anything witty to say, so he just says, "Oh, is this YOUR bike?" What a doofus! Chick says to him, "You mean this isn't your bike?" Hahaha! Everything is starting to click. Doofus says, "No, I didn't ride today," turns around and heads off briskly. Ouch! I couldn't help but laugh as I thumbed the starter and watched the chick walk the other way all disgusted. I guess I should have bought her a drink or something, but I don't think my wife would have approved...
Watching him go down in flames was probably just as satisfying as whacking him upside the head for leaning on my bike would have been.