Why a Motorcycle is better than a Woman (one of the girls will probably post the "Man" version to this)
Your motorcycle doesn't get upset when you forget it's birthday.
You don't have to talk to your motorcycle after you ride it.
You can choke your motorcycle.
Your motorcycle doesn't get mad when you ignore it for a month or so.
Motorcycles don't get jealous if you come home with grease under your fingernails.
Motorcycles don't snore.
Your motorcycle won't wake you up at 3:00 AM and ask you if you love it.
Your motorcycle won't leave you for another rider.
You don't have to pay child support / alimony to an ex-motorcycle.
If you say bad things to your Motorcycles, you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again.
If your Motorcycle doesn't look good, you can paint it or get better parts.
If your Motorcycle goes flat, you can fix it.
If your Motorcycle is misaligned, you don't have to discuss politics to correct it.
If your Motorcycle is too loose, you can tighten it.
If your Motorcycle is too soft, you can get different shocks.
If your Motorcycle makes too much noise, you can buy a muffler.
If your Motorcycle smokes, you can do something about it.
It's always OK to use tie downs on your Motorcycle.
Motorcycles always feel like going for a ride.
Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have ridden.
Motorcycles don't care about how many other Motorcycles you have.
Motorcycles don't care if you are late.
Motorcycles don't get pregnant.
Motorcycles don't have parents.
Motorcycles don't insult you if you are a bad rider.
Motorcycles don't mind if you look at other Motorcycles, or if you buy Motorcycle magazines.
Motorcycles don't whine unless something is really wrong.
Motorcycles last longer.
Motorcycles only need their fluids changed every 2,000 miles.
Motorcycles' curves never sag.
New Motorcycles must be asked for, and if you don't want to pay for them, you don't get them.
When riding, you and your Motorcycle both arrive at the same time.
You can kick your Motorcycle to wake it up.
You can ride a Motorcycle as long as you want and it won't get sore.
You can ride a Motorcycle any time of the month.
You can share your Motorcycle with your friends.
You can't get diseases from a Motorcycle you don't know very well.
You don't have to be jealous of the guy that works on your Motorcycle.
You don't have to convince your Motorcycle that you're a motorcyclist and that you think that Motorcycles are equals.
You don't have to deal with priests or blood-tests to register your Motorcycle.
You don't have to take a shower before riding your Motorcycle.
You only need to get a new chain or belt for your Motorcycle when the old one is REALLY worn.
Your Motorcycle never wants a night out alone with the other Motorcycles.
Your parents don't remain in touch with your old Motorcycle after you dump it.
Your Motorcycle doesn't care what you're wearing when you take it out.
You love buying RUBBER for your bike when you want to go on a long and hard ride.
The rashes you get from motorcycles go away without those painful IM Penicillin shots.
One gets in no trouble for storing disassembled pieces of the motorcycle in the basement.
Disassembling the motorcycle is done out of pleasure rather than need.
Motorcycles always sound pleasant.
Unlike women FAT motorcycles arent cheap.
One day a mouse and a elephant were walking through the jungle and the mouse fell into some quicksand....Well he was about to go under when the elephant pulled out his massive dick and tossed it to the mouse. Well the mouse grabed ahold of this impressive rescue line and was pulled to shore. Well, a little while later the elephant too fell into some quicksand and was going under. The mouse was panicing 'cause there was nothing around to pull his friend out with. Then he ran off and returned on his HARLEY DAVIDSON with a rope. With this he easily pulled out the elephant and saved his live!!!
The Moral: If you have a HARLEY DAVIDSON you don't need a big dick!
This big ugly biker walks into the bar with a parrot on his shoulder, orders a beer and a shot. The bartender sets him up and says ," That's really cool, where did you get him?" "Sturgis." Replied the parrot, " They're all over the
There's this guy who's in the market for a used motorcycle. Always wanted a nice big hog. So he's shopping around, answering ads in the newspaper, and not having much luck. One day he comes across a beautiful classic Harley with a "for sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he is amazed to find the bike in mint condition. He inquires about it with the owner: "This bike is beautiful!! I'll take it. But you gotta tell me how you keep it in such good shape." "Well," says the seller, "it's pretty simple. Just make sure that if the bike is outside and it's going to rain, rub vaseline on the chrome. It protects it from the rain. In fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my tube of vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it." and he hands the buyer a tube of vaseline. So the guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker. He takes the bike over to show his girlfriend. She's ecstatic (being a Harley fan). That night, he decides to ride the bike over to his girlfriend's parents house. See, it's the first time he's going to meet them and figures it will make a big impression. When the couple gets to the house, the girlfriend grabs her boyfriend's arm. "Honey," she says," I gotta tell you something about my parents before we go in. When we eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the person who says anything during dinner has to do the dishes." "No problem," he says. And in they go. The boyfriend is astounded. Right smack in the middle of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes. In the family room, a huge stack of dishes. Piled up the stairs, dirty dishes. In fact, everywhere he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and, sure enough, no one says a word. As dinner progresses, the boyfriend decides to take advantage of the situation. So he reaches over, grabs his girlfriend, strips her naked, and they make it on the dinner table. Of course no one says a word. "Her Mom's kinda cute", he thinks. So he grabs his girlfriend's Mom and has his way with her right there on the dinner table. Again, no-one says a word. Then, the boyfriend notices it starting to rain, he decides he better take care of the motorcycle. He pulls the vaseline from his pocket. The father stands up and shouts: "All right, I'll do the fucking dishes!!"