Nick the Dragon Slayer had a long-standing obsession to nuzzle the beautiful
Queen's voluptuous breasts, but he knew the penalty for this would be death.
One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio, the
Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician Exclaimed
that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but
it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it. Without pause, Nick the
Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme.
The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and
poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after
>she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the itch.
The King quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician then slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours Nick worked
passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent *b*r*e*a*s*t*s*. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon Slayer left satisfied and touted as a hero.
Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the
Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now
satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer couldn't have cared less and, knowing that
Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the King, shooed him
away with no payment made.
The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same
itching powder into the King's shorts. The King immediately summoned Nick
the Dragon Slayer...
The moral of the story - - Pay Your Bills.
A beautiful, well endowed, young lady, goes to her
local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she
looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs.
The sign says: "*S*e*x* Frogs! Only $20 each! Money Back
Guarantee! (Comes with complete instructions)."
The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's
watching her and whispers softly to the man behind
the counter, "I'll take one." The man packaged
the frog and said, "Just follow the instructions
The girl nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her
way home. As soon as she closes the door to her
apartment, the girl takes out the instructions and
reads them thoroughly, doing exactly what it says to do:
Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice smelling perfume.
3. Slip into a very *s*e*x*y* teddy.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down on the bed.
She then quickly gets into bed with the frog!
and, to her surprise, nothing happens!
The girl is totally frustrated and quite upset at
this point. She rereads the instructions and notices
at the bottom of the paper it says, "If you have any
problems or questions, please call the pet store."
So, the lady calls the pet store.
The man says, "I had some complaints earlier today.
I'll be right over."
Within five minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell.
The lady welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done
everything according to the instructions and the
damn thing just sits there."
The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog,
stares directly into its eyes and sternly says:
"Listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to do
this one more time!"