it's monday, something to cheer u guys up
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Thread: it's monday, something to cheer u guys up

  1. #1
    Registered User Array scubaphil's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2003
    99 R6

    it's monday, something to cheer u guys up

    I enjoy the drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

    Some of these were good for a giggle. Only in drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

    Only in people order double cheeseburgers, large fries,
    and a diet coke.

    Only in banks leave both doors open and then chain the
    pens to the counters.

    Only in we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

    Only in we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

    Only in we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

    Only in they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille


    Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?

    Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?

    Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

    Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?

    Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

    Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

    Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

    Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

    Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

    Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

    Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?

    You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?!

    Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

    Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

    If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?

    If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
    If jack helped you off a horse would you help jack off a horse??

    You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

  2. #2
    Born to be WILD Array Tmustang's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Port Coquitlam
    2002 Honda CBR 954RR
    HaHa...those are good.
    Tmustang you are clear for take off

  3. #3
    meh. Array tread's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
    Hahahahaha... it's funny cause I have that problem. But from now on...
    The proctologist called, they found your head.

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