Smart Ass Student!
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Thread: Smart Ass Student!

  1. #1
    Now accepting DONATIONS! Array PilotPete's Avatar
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    Smart Ass Student!

    The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
    chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
    professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course,
    why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

    Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs

    Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas
    cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.

    One student, however, wrote the following:

    First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need
    to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which
    they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
    Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many
    souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in
    the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member
    of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of
    these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
    can project that all souls go to Hell.

    With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in
    Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the
    volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature
    and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
    proportionately as souls are added.

    This gives two possibilities:

    1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter
    Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell
    breaks loose.

    2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,
    then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

    So which is it?

    If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year
    that, " it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into
    account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number 2 must be
    true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen
    over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
    follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is, therefore,
    extinct...leaving only Heaven thereby proving the existence of a divine
    being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
    Sex is like driving a honda: Slow, Obscene, and so loud it wakes your neighbors!

  2. #2

  3. #3
    Vindicated Array JamieJames's Avatar
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    This one (and similar but different versions) have been around for awhile. I always wondered it if was an urban legend but given how it's changed, I imgaine it is.

    Still funny as hell though.

    Pun intended.

  4. #4
    Blaaaargh, 40th repost I swear, hehe!

  5. #5
    Who cares if it's a repost .... I never saw it before and I never would have seen it if it weren't for it being reposted. Thanks for REPOSTING .... made me laugh.

    I swear ..... there are some people on here who only look for reposts and only type


  6. #6
    Gear Driven Cams Array Spike's Avatar
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    Yeah, but a quick test with the search tool when posting something that is such an obvious urban legend candidate would have saved the noob some embarassment.

    Oh, and Snopes is your friend.
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  7. #7
    Registered User Array ZedX7R's Avatar
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    Even my dad has sent this to me twice in the last few years, so it must have been around for a while.

    made me smile though.

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