Iíve noticed a large number of women riders that are quite active on this site offering their advice from racing tips, to relationships. Well, Iíve got the tune-ups and tire changes looked after, but am looking for some open and unbiased female opinions on some relationship issues.
The short version Ė
Had a live-in girlfriend for about 3 years Ė had a good relationship, but things eventually deteriorated over time. She is moving out next week, and Iíve recently had some time to do some thinking about our relationship (what was good, what was bad), and what I would change if I had the opportunity to do so.
The relationship break-up was amicable Ė we both saw Ďthe writing of the wallí that things were going south, but this doesnít mean there was any infidelity, or disrespectful actions. We simply found that our lives and lifestyles are different enough that we are not compatible to live together. We will remain friends.
The long version -
Iíve only ever really been in what I would call Ďlong termí relationships. The minimum time has been this last one, about 3 years. Prior to that I was single for a few years, in a relationship for 4 years, single prior to that for a couple of years, and then had about a 5 year relationship out of high-school.
This means that Iíve really only been in 3 different relationships, but each for multiple years. Iíve been deeply thinking that I donít want to have another steady monogamous relationship as Iíve spent that last 12 years looking for something that I cannot seem to find. Experience is telling me that the Ďgood timesí that I had when I was single was about as good as it gets Ė the relationships Iíve been in always seem to be a compromise.
Frustrated, Iíve been reading quite a bit, and came across an article that SLAPPED me upside the head. This article has some excellent points that make perfect sense, but I wanted to know what other women feel about the opinions presented in the article. Maybe there is more to this that I thought.
Itís long (and a bit heavy) but I would like to know some unbiased FEMALE opinions on the content.
RELEARNING HETEROSEXUAL LOVE
Dr. Henry Makow
I was born in 1949. My formative years coincided with a successful campaign to destabilize society by promoting lesbianism (using "feminism" as a front.)
Specifically, my generation was programmed to believe that woman and men are not only equal but also the same.
As a result, many of us are immature. We suffer from arrested development caused by the suppression of our natural heterosexual instincts.
Personally, I reached the age of 48 without understanding masculinity or how to relate to a woman. I had no standard of manhood and thus had nothing to aim for. Similarly, all the women I met were confused or messed up. Predictably, I had two failed marriages and my personal development was stalled.
The elite wants people to be stunted, frustrated, distracted and confused. It is a vast criminal enterprise. The last thing it needs is for people to be fully developed and functional human beings.
The two founders of "second wave" feminism, Gloria Steinem and Betty Frieden are both agents of the elite. In past columns I have shown how they both pretended to be "average" women when in fact both were professional activists, i.e. cultural provocateurs. Steinem was working undercover for the CIA while Frieden had been a Communist party writer for 20 years.
You ask how can someone from the "right" (CIA) and the "left" (CPUSA) both be agents of the elite? The elite promotes both right and left so that we will blame the other side for our problems, and fail to see who is really responsible. For example, both the Washington Post (left) and the Washington Times (right) are controlled by the CIA. Thus, the elite manages the debate. (For example, even conservative elite media would not touch an article like this.)
The CIA is the operating arm of the elite. It employs an army of psychologists and propagandists to engage in psychological warfare. It is naÔve to think that this awesome power, ostensibly aimed at our "enemies," is not directed at the US public. There is plenty of evidence that the CIA orchestrates our cultural mambo. Names like Projects "Mockingbird" and "Camelot" come to mind.
Having set the scene, I would like to counter elite programming by offering a paradigm of heterosexuality based on my intuition, experience and observation. It represents understanding I wish I had when I was 18. Before I begin, I wish to state that I am not telling people how to live. I leave that to feminists.
I believe heterosexual love and marriage is the path intended for us to find fulfillment, self-transcendence and G-d. This is why we are so obsessed with it. By definition we must find G-d ourselves. This is the essence of freedom. The following description is a signpost. If you find genuine happiness by other routes, I salute you. I am sounding a theme. Play your own variations.
Heterosexuality is a life cycle not a "sexual preference." It centers on courtship, marriage, and family (parenthood). Most heterosexual beings need marriage and family to fulfill their destiny.
Marriage is a sacred union in which male and female become "one" in love. A child is the expression of this oneness. Marriage takes place when the male spirit in the form of love possesses the female spirit. Heterosexual love mirrors G-d's love of creation. The male channels G-d's love to the female, who is creation.
G-d's love is like the sunrise that pervades and illuminates creation each day. Contrary to what we have been taught, women need constantly to be possessed and spiritually fertilized by man's love. Similarly men have a fundamental psychological need to possess a woman with his love.
Women need to experience power as love. Men need to express love as power. For both sexes, healthy union is a condition for healthy development. The male's possession of female, the exchange of female power for male love, is the heart of the heterosexual relationship. It is how union takes place. Courtship involves winning female trust. The male presents her with a vision of life together. He is basically saying: "Follow me. Become one with me. I will use power on behalf of our union."
A woman loves by trusting. She gives her husband power and he uses it to love her. This is reflected in the sex act. With perfect surrender comes perfect love.
This courtship dynamic never ends. The husband leads but he tries to win his wife's assent. Love is giving a person what s/he needs not necessarily what s/he wants. But if a man abrogates this contract by not behaving lovingly, he loses his power. Psychically, the sex act is always an act of male possession of the female. Nothing can change this. Thus, it is degrading for both men and women to indulge in sex without love.
Heterosexual love is self-surrender. Male and female sacrifice themselves in their respective spheres. This is NOT rigid, but the male sphere is the world and the female sphere is the home. Both are equally important. The male sacrifices his selfish interests to create the social and physical conditions for the family to thrive. He is the "Creator" of his little world, the shepherd of his family. Women select men on this basis.
In contrast to the male who is hardwired for the external world, women are psychologically specialized for the internal world. The female creates the home, the vital emotional and spiritual environment that nurtures husband and children. Women crave and create love and intimacy. In comparison, men are intimacy-challenged.
At some level, a truly feminine woman renounces power and the ways of the masculine world. She rules by commanding the love of a man.
She strives to complement rather than compete. She specializes in those uplifting indispensable qualities that have nothing to do with the empty cutthroat world of money and power. I am thinking of grace, beauty, wisdom and goodness. Who can deny that these qualities are sorely missing?
A successful marriage is the only thing that satisfies sexual hunger. A happy couple has no desire to have sex with other people. To them, sex with a stranger, no matter how attractive, is akin to streaking naked through a crowded mall. Sex for them is an intimate expression of their union. The sword is in the sheath. They are complete, whole, one.
In order to arrest our development, the elite has struck at the crux of heterosexual union: trust. Feminism has conditioned women to see men as predators, nuclear family as exploitation. It teaches young women to seek power and to make men redundant.
Women need to be competent in the world, but the feminist quest for equality that everyone supports, is in reality a cynical front for a devastating attack on heterosexual institutions (fatherhood, motherhood and the nuclear family.) The elite always uses fronts to manipulate events. Feminists think they are rebels when in fact they are mostly unwitting pawns of a powerful secret elite centered in the Rothschild-Rockefeller-Morgan empires.
Due to elite planning, the family has collapsed in just 40 years. Since 1960 the marriage rate has declined by one third, the fertility rate by almost one half, and the divorce rate has doubled. More than half of all first-born children are conceived out of wedlock. More than one third of American children are living apart from their biological fathers. William Bennett says: "Most of our social pathologies...are manifestations, direct and indirect of the break-up of the American family."
Social pathology (destabilization) is the elite agenda. Young men and women are taught that heterosexual roles are "stereotypes" while homosexuality is "natural." Feminists deliberately alienate married women from their husbands. Domestic violence laws are designed to kill families. They prevent men from exercising the leadership and authority that women actually crave.
In conclusion, the elite weakens heterosexuality in order to destabilize society in advance of the "New World Order." Our psychic development is being arrested at the courtship stage. We are being starved for love, bombarded with pornographic images, manipulated and distracted. What was sold as "sexual liberation" is in fact slavery to sex.
Heterosexuals need marriage and children to fulfill their divine destinies. Instead of serving G-d and their families, women are drafted as foot soldiers in the New World Order, and men are emasculated or cast adrift.
The destabilization of society under the guise of feminism is an assault on our divine birthright as human beings. It is an attack on Love that is satanic and pagan in origin. It strikes at the heart of G-d's relationship to creation, and mankind's relationship to G-d.
Henry Makow, is the inventor of the board game Scruples, and the author of A Long Way to go for a Date. He received his Ph.D. in English Literature from the University of Toronto.