Marsha Hall posted this to the Iron Butt Finisher's List. There is a lot of
wisdom in this humor:
1. Every ride is optional. Every parking job is mandatory.
2. If you push the bars left, the bike goes left. If you push the bars
right, the bike goes right. That is, unless you continue pushing the bars
all the way, the bike will go down.
3. Riding isn't dangerous. Crashing is dangerous.
4. It's always better to be on the sidelines wishing you were on the track
than on the track wishing you were on the sidelines.
5. The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
6. The rear wheel is just a big fan on back of the bike used to keep the
rider cool and his butt relaxed. If going into a corner too fast, slamming
on the rear brake causes the "fan" to abruptly stop. When this happens you
can actually see the rider start sweating and his butt become tense.
7. When in doubt, slow down. No one has ever hit something too slow.
8. A good ride is one from which you can walk away. A great ride is one
after which you can use the bike again.
9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all
of them yourself.
10. You know you've left the sidestand down when all left turn are
Bat-turns. You know you've left the centerstand down when you're in 1st gear
at 4000 rpm going nowhere.
11. Never let an motorcycle take you somewhere your brain didn't get to
three seconds earlier.
12. Always try to keep the number of times you put your sidestand down equal
to the number of times you put the sidestand up.
13. There are two simple rules for riding smoothly and fast in snow and on
ice. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
14. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The
trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
15. If all you can see in your mirrors is sparks and all you can hear is
screaming from your passenger, things may not be as they should be.
16. In the ongoing battle between objects made of metal, rubber and
fiberglass going 100+ miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per
hour, the ground has yet to lose. Same holds for cars, large trucks, and
animals taller than you. Draws don't count.
17. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience
usually comes from bad judgment.
18. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
19. Remember, gravity and centrifical force aren't just a good ideas.
They're laws and aren't subject to appeal.
20. The two most useless things to a rider are the braking distance behind
you and nine-tenths of a second ago.