Copied from the Yamaha Club Web-site. Thanks Alan!
Alan Said:Great stuff! I'll be trying a few of these out soon.Hi folks I hope you find some of these tips handy - hence the title 'Handy Tips.
Don't waste money buying expensive binoculars. Simply stand next to the object you wish to view.
Always poo at work. Not only do you save money on toilet paper, you'll get paid for doing it!
WEIGHT WATCHERS. Avoid that devilish temptation to nibble at a chocolate bar in the cupboard or fridge by not buying the f**k**g thing in the first place you fat b*st**d!
Recreate the fun of a visit to the swimming pool in your own home by filling the bath with cold water, adding two bottles of bleach, then urinating into it before jumping in.
Don't buy expensive ribbed condoms, just buy an ordinary one and slip a handful of frozen peas inside it before you slip it on.
Anorexics. When your knees get fatter than your legs, start eating cake.
An empty aluminium cigar tube filled with angry wasps makes an inexpensive vibrator!
Olympic athletes. Disguise the fact that you're using steroids by running slower!
High blood pressure sufferers. Simply cut yourself and bleed for a while, thus reducing the pressure.
A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep.