Freddie Mercury, Gianni Versace and the Queen Mother arrive at the Pearly
gates, St Peter explains that only one can get through and that they each
have to put forward their case for entry.

Freddie says, "I know I haven't led a perfect life and I've made some
mistakes along the way, but I've made some of the most beautiful music in
the world. I'll stand at the back of heaven, and serenade everybody with my
wondrous songs, making heaven a far happier place to be"

"Pretty good, Fred" said St Peter, "what about you Gianni?"

Versace says, "I make the most beautiful clothes in the world. I will
completely redesign the fashions up here, from the archangels to the cherub
to the choirboys. As you well know Pete if you look good you will feel good
and that will make heaven a much happier place"

"Not bad" says St Peter. "What about you Queen Mother?"

The Queen Mother does not say a word, instead she lifts up her skirt and
down her kn*ckers, inserts a full bottle of Evian water into her fanny, lets
the water shoot up inside her and then gush out all over the floor.

"Excellent, you're in" says St Peter

"Hold on a f*king minute" says Freddie "She didn't even say anything"

"Fred you know the rules," says St Peter, "A royal flush beats a pair of