Funny yet so true
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Thread: Funny yet so true

  1. #1
    Smile Array Ladybug's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    S-u-r-r-e-y :o
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    Sold

    Funny yet so true

    Found this funny on another site (speedybikegirls) and had to share it with the girls here...



    SPECIAL CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS -


    NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND ADVANCED LEVEL OF THESE COURSES,
    CLASS SIZE WILL BE LIMITED. YOU ARE ADVISED TO REGISTER AS SOON AS
    POSSIBLE.



    Class 1: How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays. Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
    Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours
    beginning at 7:00 PM.


    Class 2: The Toilet Paper Roll. Does it Change Itself?
    Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks,
    Saturdays 12:00 for 2 hours.


    Class 3: Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of
    Lifting the Seat and Avoiding the Floor/Walls
    and Nearby Bathtub? Group Practice.
    Meets 4 weeks, Saturdays 10:00 PM for 2 hours.


    Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry
    Hamper and the Floor. Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
    Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.


    Class 5: After Dinner Dishes.
    Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink?
    Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for
    2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM


    Class 6: Loss of Identity - Losing the Remote to Your
    Significant Other.
    Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks,
    Friday and Sunday 7:00PM.


    Class 7: Learning How to Find Things - Starting with
    looking in the right places instead of turning
    the house upside down while screaming.
    Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours. < BR>


    Class 8: Health Watch - Bringing her flowers is not
    harmful to your health.
    Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday,
    Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours.


    Class 9: Real Men ask for Directions When Lost.
    Real Life Testimonials.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.


    Class 10: Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly while
    she parallel parks?
    Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturdays at noon, 2 hours.


    Class 11: Learning to Live - Basic Differences Between
    Mother and Wife.
    Online Classes and role-playing. Location and times to be
    announced.


    Class 12: How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.
    Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing
    Techniques.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours
    beginning at 7:00 PM.


    Class 13: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy - Remembering Birthdays,
    Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're
    Going to be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies
    Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM
    for 2 hours.


    Class 14: The Stove/Oven - What it is and How it is Used.
    Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be
    determined.


    Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
    "Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well- preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming-- ' WOW, what a ride ! ! ! ' "

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  3. #2
    Crabalocker
    Guest
    I'm a dropout, i quit these classes after two weeks.

    Class 15 Mediation - How to conciliate parties involved in childish arguments caused by the hatred of one female for being prettier than another. Mondays at 4:00pm.

    Class 16 Duplicity - Learn how to shower praise and affection on the person you despise most. Tuesdays at 10:00pm

  4. #3
    Registered User Array
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Location
    Lower Mainland
    Bike
    **********
    I have a plaque in my bathroom:
    Contrary to popular opinion, changing the toilet paper roll will NOT cause brain damage.
    To date, no male has noticed it.

  5. #4
    Woof? Array cam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    white rock
    Bike
    04 CBR600RR
    Quote Originally Posted by Ladybug
    Found this funny on another site (speedybikegirls) and had to share it with the girls here...



    SPECIAL CLASSES FOR MEN AT THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS -


    NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND ADVANCED LEVEL OF THESE COURSES,
    CLASS SIZE WILL BE LIMITED. YOU ARE ADVISED TO REGISTER AS SOON AS
    POSSIBLE.



    Class 1: How to Fill Up the Ice Cube Trays. Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
    Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours
    beginning at 7:00 PM.
    (my fridge does it automaticly)

    Class 2: The Toilet Paper Roll. Does it Change Itself?
    Round Table Discussion. Meets 2 weeks,
    Saturdays 12:00 for 2 hours.
    (According to women all men are stupid. Gladly this isnt true. The majority of women are of below average intelligence. Small example, how many women do you know read the news paper? And not the province thats a picture book with a giant sports section.)


    Class 3: Is It Possible to Urinate Using the Technique of
    Lifting the Seat and Avoiding the Floor/Walls
    and Nearby Bathtub? Group Practice.
    Meets 4 weeks, Saturdays 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
    (aim)

    Class 4: Fundamental Differences Between the Laundry
    Hamper and the Floor. Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
    Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
    (dont care, shut up and wash my clothes.)

    Class 5: After Dinner Dishes.
    Can They Levitate and Fly Into the Kitchen Sink?
    Examples on Video. Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for
    2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM
    (how about just putting them in the dish washer. You expect us to work all day, I think you can lift a few plates.)

    Class 6: Loss of Identity - Losing the Remote to Your
    Significant Other.
    Help Line Support and Support Groups. Meets 4 Weeks,
    Friday and Sunday 7:00PM.
    (Unlike you, we can mute the tv. No wait, I stand corrected, you know where the door is.)

    Class 7: Learning How to Find Things - Starting with
    looking in the right places instead of turning
    the house upside down while screaming.
    Open Forum. Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours. < BR>
    (If we knew the right places too look then we have obviously found it. This redundant idea was obviously created by a woman.)

    Class 8: Health Watch - Bringing her flowers is not
    harmful to your health.
    Graphics and Audio Tapes. Three nights; Monday,
    Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM for 2 hours.
    (When you start to preform oral sex whenever we require, THEN, you will get money spent on you. Prior to popular belief, you have to earn rewards. We dont give hand outs, unless you start giving in return. P.S: As you get fatter, we become less sexually attracted to you. Please obtain a gym membership.)

    Class 9: Real Men ask for Directions When Lost.
    Real Life Testimonials.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.
    (Real men bring maps.)

    Class 10: Is it genetically impossible to sit quietly while
    she parallel parks?
    Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturdays at noon, 2 hours.
    (yes, you cant drive.)

    Class 11: Learning to Live - Basic Differences Between
    Mother and Wife.
    Online Classes and role-playing. Location and times to be
    announced.


    Class 12: How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion.
    Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing
    Techniques.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours
    beginning at 7:00 PM.
    (Any man who goes shopping with you, is a pussy. You consider him a second bank account. No we will not buy anything for you. You want it, you get a job. I'll go shopping when I want to buy something, you have friends bring them along instead.)

    Class 13: How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy - Remembering Birthdays,
    Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're
    Going to be Late. Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies
    Offered. Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00PM
    for 2 hours.
    (To have an anniversary ever month is redundant, im not going to spend extra money on you just because of some date, YOU made up. Birthdays and xmas, thats the only time you should expect gifts. If we arn't married, im not going to spend unwarrented money on you.)

    Class 14: The Stove/Oven - What it is and How it is Used.
    Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be
    determined.
    (Why are we dating you then? Our mothers cooked for us, our fathers never touched the oven, this is how we are programmed by our parents. If you're too lazy to learn how to cook, thats you're own problem. No, we arn't going to move in with someone who can't cook, sorry. You're lucky at this point if we call you.)


    Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.
    thank you

  6. #5
    Woof? Array cam's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    white rock
    Bike
    04 CBR600RR
    Quote Originally Posted by jetshoes
    I have a plaque in my bathroom:
    Contrary to popular opinion, changing the toilet paper roll will NOT cause brain damage.
    To date, no male has noticed it.
    We dont care about your stupid little plaque. It's not even relevant.


    Yes I do change it, how else would I be able to wipe, hopes and dreams?

  7. #6
    Smooth as Sandpaper. Array Brain's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Richmond
    Bike
    '03 SV650s

    Touché
    Complimentary Brainwashing and detailing.

  8. #7
    Stupid bastard Array Hu99's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    Y-Town
    Bike
    '07 BMW K1200R
    Ha bloody ha.
    What was it all about?

  9. #8
    Never again Array G-slide's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    vancouver
    Bike
    -=none=-
    haters................
    -gurp

  10. #9
    Got Crazy? Array crazycharlie909's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Vancouver
    Bike
    2012 Diavel Carbon
    Its funny, because we know how to do all these things pretty well.............we just don't care
    Suck it Trebek!!!

  11. #10
    rain? whats that! Array REVELATIONS's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Calgary
    Bike
    SV 1000s
    I have problems with #2 and #3 (#3 because I have so far to go) ....... opa!


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