Hello. Welcome to ABC Co. Automated Claims.
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Thread: Hello. Welcome to ABC Co. Automated Claims.

  1. #1
    Poser Emeritus Array bill's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Lower Mainland

    Hello. Welcome to ABC Co. Automated Claims.

    If you would like to advise us that the accident was not your fault, please press 1.

    If this is because the other car came out of nowhere, please press 2.

    If this is because the other car was speeding, although you never saw it, please press 3.

    If you believe the independent witness is involved in a plot against you, please press 4.

    If a hit and run vehicle shaped like a pole, a curb, or covered in stucco, hit your vehicle, please press 5.

    If you have minor rear end damage and would like a new transmission and/or a new stereo system, please press 6.

    If your vehicle had a $5000 stereo system stolen, and all the receipts for it were inside the glove box, please press 7.

    If you are calling to tell us that the other motorist could not possibly have been injured, please press 8.

    If you are calling to make us aware that $39.02 per day does not cover the cost of a rental car, please press 9.

    If you regret choosing a high deductible, not purchasing rental coverage, or not paying for higher liability limits and would like us

    to deduct a lower amount, extend a coverage you don't have, or increase your limits to a more convenient level, for a loss which has already
    occurred, please press 10.

    If you do not plan to pay additional premium for your lower deductible or additional/higher coverages, please press 11.

    If you wish to insist that we meet you at an accident scene, although it is completely obvious that you are at fault, please press 12.

    If you are calling to tell us how many years you have been driving without an accident and request that we therefore find you were not at
    fault for an accident, please press 13.

    If you were served with a lawsuit two months ago and forgot to tell us, please press 14.

    If we have been trying to reach you for months, and it is now Friday afternoon at 4:56 pm, and you are calling to demand immediate
    assistance, please press 15.

    Please be aware that in the interests of customer service, we have discontinued the "live employee" pilot program. All claim services are

    now automated. Thank you for calling. This message will repeat.
    BCSB had mountains of experience with a lot of things. #1 on that list is pouring out bullshit to dumb questions by the Gigabyte. (TripleTime, 12-10-2014 03:19 PM)

  2. #2
    Lordco Poster Boy Array Desperado's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    luvin it
    I don't care how good a martial artist you are. You'll never be faster than the twitch of my trigger finger

  3. #3
    Registered User Array SpideRider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Fraser Valley
    Cry in the dojo, laugh on the battlefield
    Sparring speed is a matter of simple physics:
    The height of your flight is inversely proportionate to the mass of your ass.

  4. #4
    muhahahahahaha! Swicked!

  5. #5
    Registered User Array audiophile's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    04 Yamaha R6
    Yeah my phone's got a "14" button too.

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