comprehensive list of poo
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Thread: comprehensive list of poo

  1. #1
    Registered User Array savagebovine's Avatar
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    Jun 2004
    New Westminster
    '06 GSXR 750

    comprehensive list of poo

    An oldy but a goody. I was hoping to make this a poll of your most recent, but the polls only allow for 10 options.

    Ghost Shit

    You know you've shit. There's shit on the toilet paper, but no shit in the bowl.

    Teflon Coated Shit

    Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of shit on the toilet paper, you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it!

    Gooey Shit

    This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This shit leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.

    Second Thought Shit

    You're all done wiping your ass and you're about to stand up when you realize've got some more.

    Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit

    This kind is the kind of shit that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.

    Bali Belly Shit

    You shit so much you lose 5 kilos.

    Right Now Shit

    You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.

    King Kong or Commode Choker Shit

    This shit is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of shit usually happens at someone else's house.

    Wet Cheeks Shit

    This shit hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your ass wet.

    Wish Shit

    You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no shit!

    Cement Block or Oh God Shit

    You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you shit.

    Snake Shit

    This shit is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.

    Cork Shit (Also Known as Floater Shit)

    Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This shit usually happens at someone else's house.

    Mexican Food Shit (also called Screamers)

    You'll know it's alright to eat again when your asshole stops burning.

    Beer Drunk Shit

    This happens the day after the night before. Normally your shit doesn't smell too bad, but this shit is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of shit also usually happens at someone else's house.

    The Frightened Turtle

    The kind of shit that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in

    The Bungee Shit

    The kind of shit that just hangs off your ass before it falls into the water.

    The Ring of Fire Shit

    The kind of shit where you eat really spicy food and your asshole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.

    The Crippler

    The kind of shit where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.

    The Big Bobber

    The kind of shit that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.

    The Shitty Shitty Bang Bang

    The kind of shit that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.

    The Incredible Hulk Shit

    The king of shit that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.

    The Jack the Ripper Shit

    The kind of shit that yanks out the hair of your ass as it pushes its way out.

    The Party Pooper

    The giant shit you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.

    The Toxic Gas Shit

    The kind of shit that makes you pass out and fall of the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange South American town.

    Dirty Bowl Shit

    The kind of shit that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.

    The Windy City Shit

    When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a shit.

    Oh Shit! Shit

    You shit so much and wipe your ass so furiously you run out of toilet paper and you say OH SHIT!

    The Never Ending Shit

    It's the shit that keeps running out of your ass like pea, and just when you start wiping your ass your stomach gargles and splash, more shit runs out. This always happens after eating at Kentucky Fried Chicken.

    Ouch That Hurt Shit

    The type of shit that leaves you feeling like you just hopped onto a bicycle without a seat. Sensation usually lasts hours.

  2. #2
    I needed that man...fuck am i laughing hard rite now! This was pure awesome!

  3. #3
    Decepticon Array Vashy's Avatar
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    Jul 2003
    lol, this is gold
    "If I teach you sex, I'd have to give you sex for homework" -Jaime Escalante

  4. #4
    Casual part-time cager Array Ol_sKOOl_900r's Avatar
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    Feb 2005
    BigBore 972 NiNjA
    hahaha. that's amazing bro... i'm seriously cracking up so hard that my eyes are tearing..
    "Never Look down on anybody, unless you're helping him up"

  5. #5
    two dog racing
    The 'Right now shit' is what I call 'ground hoggin'
    I had a snake shit the other day, I called Justy in to have a look at it I was so proud

  6. #6
    speed is feeling Array druhmah's Avatar
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    Jul 2003
    2000 rc51,95 blade,others
    you forgot the "laughed so hard have to take a shit" shit.... will advise
    speed is feeling

  7. #7
    SuperStyling Array coolio's Avatar
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    Jun 2004
    Got me giggling like a fucker.

  8. #8
    Registered User Array savagebovine's Avatar
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    Jun 2004
    New Westminster
    '06 GSXR 750
    Just had a second read with a coworker...couldn't stop laughing.

  9. #9
    Registered User Array Booger's Avatar
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    Apr 2007
    Holy Shit !!!!!

    can't..... st o p ...... la... ugh.. ing.

    I have been giggling and laughing my ass off so freakin loud after each new kind of shit, everyone is looking at me like wtf is wrong with this guy??!!?

    I've had everyone of those shits... (Not all at once though)

  10. #10
    . Array
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    May 2005
    dont forget the triple king coiler

  11. #11
    Post whore Array CRXnut's Avatar
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    May 2008
    New Westminster
    2001 919
    Oh man, I had to stop midway through reading so I would not shit myself laughing.
    Ride naked !!!

  12. #12
    Takin it like a $10 Whore Array newbster_rider's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    I laughed so hard i farted!

  13. #13
    Registered User Array cranker625's Avatar
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    Jan 2007
    07' Monster 695
    hahah man, really needed this

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