Joke of the day......
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Thread: Joke of the day......

  1. #1
    newb take it easy Array djlukasrukas's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Burnaby BC
    Still Shopping

    Joke of the day......

    Heres one for all you married brothaz out there.

    Dear Tech Support,

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up alot of new space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

    In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Drunken Boys Night 2.5 and Saturday Football 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.

    I cannot seem to keep wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications. I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program.

    Can you please help me?


    A Troubled User

    -----Reply Separator-----

    Dear Troubled User,

    This is a very common problem men complain about, but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATINGSYSTEM and designed by it's creator to run everything.

    It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. Hidden operating files within your system would cause Girlfriend 7.0 to emulate Wife 1.0 so nothing is gained. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this.

    Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings- Alimony/Child support". I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and deal with the situation.

    I suggest installing background application program C:\YES DEAR to alleviate software augmentation. Having installed Wife 1.0 myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur, regardless of their cause. The best course of action will be to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE. In any case avoid excessive use of C:\YES DEAR because ultimately you may have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the operating system will return to normal. The system will run smoothly as long as you take the blame for all the GPFs.

    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high-maintenance. Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 3.1 and Diamonds 2K. Do not, under any circumstances install Secretary with Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

    Best of Luck,

    Tech Support

    HAHAhahaha now thats funny shit

  2. #2
    Casual part-time cager Array Ol_sKOOl_900r's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    BigBore 972 NiNjA
    hahahaha... that's a good one
    "Never Look down on anybody, unless you're helping him up"

  3. #3
    Moderator Array Shovelhead's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    How about this one:
    Make sure you keep paying your taxes!!!

    migrant's Poem !

    I cross ocean,
    poor and broke,
    Take bus,
    see employment folk.

    Nice man treat me
    good in there,
    Say I need to
    see welfare.

    Welfare say,
    "You come no more,
    We send cash
    right to your door."

    Welfare cheques,
    they make you wealthy,
    Medicare it keep
    you healthy!

    By and by,
    I got plenty money,
    Thanks to you,
    Canadian dummy.

    Write to friends
    in motherland,
    Tell them 'come
    fast as you can.'

    They come in turbans
    and Ford trucks,
    I buy big house
    with welfare bucks

    They come here,
    we live together,
    More welfare cheques,
    it gets better!

    Fourteen families,
    they moving in,
    But neighbour's patience wearing thin.

    Finally, white chap
    moves away,
    Now I buy his house,
    and then I say,

    "Find more aliens
    for house to rent."
    And in the yard
    I put a tent.

    Send for family
    they just trash,
    But they, too,
    draw the welfare cash!

    Everything is
    very good,
    And soon we
    own the neighbourhood.

    We have hobby --
    it's called breeding,
    Welfare pay
    for baby feeding.

    Kids need dentist?
    Wife need pills?
    We get free!
    We got no bills!

    Canadian crazy!
    He pay all year,
    To keep welfare
    running here.

    We think Canada
    damn good place!
    Too damn good for
    the white man race.

    If they no like us,
    they can scram,
    Got lots of room in

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