Men vs. Women - How true are these!!
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Thread: Men vs. Women - How true are these!!

  1. #1
    Registered User Array Venom's Avatar
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    Men vs. Women - How true are these!!

    1. NAMES

    If Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara go out for lunch, they will call
    each other Laurie, Linda, Elizabeth and Barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric and
    Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy,
    Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Scrappy.

    2. EATING OUT

    When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in $20,
    even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller
    and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their
    bill, out come the pocket calculators.

    3. MONEY

    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
    A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

    4. BATHROOMS

    A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a
    bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
    The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
    would not be able to identify most of these items.

    5. ARGUMENTS

    A woman has the last word in any argument.
    Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

    6. CATS

    Women love cats.
    Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

    7. FUTURE

    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

    8. SUCCESS

    A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
    A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

    9. MARRIAGE

    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.

    10. DRESSING UP

    A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage,
    answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
    A man will dress up for weddings and funerals

    11. NATURAL

    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
    Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

    12. OFFSPRING

    Ah, children.
    A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments
    and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and
    dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

    13. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

    Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people
    remembering the same thing.

    AND FINALLY...

    A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An
    earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to
    concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jack asses, and
    pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?" "Yep," the wife
    replied, "in-laws."

  2. #2
    Registered User Array Jester666's Avatar
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    I disagre with #6.
    I love my cats-they're a couple of punkasses

    a big fat one and a small skinny one- live comedy every day of the week.
    And with the laminate floors in instead of carpet it's more entertaining than ever!

  3. #3
    Bushido Array Valoroursness's Avatar
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    I agree with #4
    4. BATHROOMS

    A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a
    bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
    The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
    would not be able to identify most of these items

    with a few minor changes that I have my cologne and deoderant. However my female roomate has about 200-300 items in her bathroom...
    Only the strong survive.

  4. #4
    glowing ghostie! Array gordopolis's Avatar
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    I too agree with #4

    I cleaned the bathroom on the weekend. WTF is in all these bottles? Are they really necessary!?

  5. #5
    doug
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    i cleaned the bathroom this weekend too. roommate's gf's hair EVERYWHERE.

    thankfully he is moving out. and it makes me realize i need to look for a girl with short hair.

  6. #6
    Registered User Array
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    Quote Originally Posted by doug
    i cleaned the bathroom this weekend too. roommate's gf's hair EVERYWHERE.

    thankfully he is moving out. and it makes me realize i need to look for a girl with short hair.
    Or a girl who hates a messy bathroom as much as you do and cleans it up!!

  7. #7
    Registered User Array C-YA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Venom
    11. NATURAL

    Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
    Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
    Oh, that's nice

  8. #8
    doug
    Guest
    Quote Originally Posted by NV HondaGurl
    Or a girl who hates a messy bathroom as much as you do and cleans it up!!

    its amazing how a self professed clean freak can leave so much crap out and be so messy. doesn't even know how to recycle.

    and of course, when he goes, i get to clean it all up.

    any short haired girls need a room, and wanna watch a guy curse while cleaning?

  9. #9
    Registered User Array
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    #4, how true... I live with a female and two gay males... when I cleaned the bathroom the other day, I filled a garbage bag with empty bottles. And there were STILL six or seven different kinds of conditioner afterwards... what gives??

  10. #10
    Gixxa Array Rioghan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by knallhart
    #4, how true... I live with a female and two gay males... when I cleaned the bathroom the other day, I filled a garbage bag with empty bottles. And there were STILL six or seven different kinds of conditioner afterwards... what gives??

    You live with a female and two gay males.. THATS what gives

  11. #11
    I am the liquor Array Ripster's Avatar
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    4. BATHROOMS

    A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a
    bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
    The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man
    would not be able to identify most of these items


    Yup, I agree. Except my towel is from the Hilton (seriously).

  12. #12
    Registered User Array Silent Scream's Avatar
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    I used to have a male friend who had more beauty products than I do. Scary thing was that he was straight. Although I began to question that when he showed me his venus razor...
    In the whole wide world, there's no magic place... so you might as well rise. Put on your bravest face.

  13. #13
    Registered User Array Jester666's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by knallhart
    #4, how true... I live with a female and two gay males... when I cleaned the bathroom the other day, I filled a garbage bag with empty bottles. And there were STILL six or seven different kinds of conditioner afterwards... what gives??



    You live with a female and two gay males.. THATS what gives
    Quote Originally Posted by Rioghan
    You live with a female and two gay males.. THATS what gives

    he lives with female and 2 gay males and HE CLEANS THE BATHROOM!!!

  14. #14
    Registered User Array eclipse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Silent Scream
    I used to have a male friend who had more beauty products than I do. Scary thing was that he was straight. Although I began to question that when he showed me his venus razor...
    Hey silent are you sure you are a female, if so I think you need to correct your portuguese on your tag line there... "Eu estou sozinho" u need to change the last letter to an 'a', unless u're a in 'INTERNET FEMALE' at which case then nevermind lol

    Just picking on ya,

    Eclipse
    aka anoying brazilian guy!

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