funny/pathetic/horror stories?
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Thread: funny/pathetic/horror stories?

  1. #1
    Registered User Array
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    Jul 2002

    funny/pathetic/horror stories?

    Anyone brave enough to share?
    Last edited by factory_pilot; 08-15-2002 at 10:48 AM.

  2. #2
    Wanderer of the Wastes Array DNAspark99's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    השטן שב
    I once got caught feeding worms to a baby.
    damn that kid was hungry, but the mother didn't seem too pleased. talk about embarassing.
    Hey, it shut the kid up, didn't it?!
    "I dread beyond all else the growth of the petty tyranny of restrictive legislation, the transference of disciplinary authority from the judiciary to the constabulary, the abandonment of every constitutional safeguard of individual liberty."

  3. #3
    Registered User Array Dalton's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    I like my
    k7 gsxr 600
    I have a card trick.

    You pick a card, you put the card back, you shuffle it as many times as you want, hell, choose a different deck if you want to.

    I take the deck of cards. And I concentrate....and I's intense.

    I choose a card.

    So far I've been wrong all the time and the trick doesn't work. But, all I need is that ONE time for it to work, a 1 in 52 chance approximately, and it'll be the most amazing thing ever.
    BCSB- Moderator

  4. #4
    ice cream poser Array f4i_2's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Yeah right!
    ok, my first time snowboarding i had these pants that zipped all the way up from the hip. needless to say, if u ever snowboarded your first time is a nightmare. i fell so hard on the first run that i ripped the zipper right off, and yep, couldn't zip my pant leg up anymore. it was dragging and tripping me. i was forced to take off the f-in pants and board down in my thermal undies. yes, it was that embarassing, mind u, i was still falling over so by the time i finished that run, my undies were soaked to the bone. and i looked pretty gay with skin tight pants. how's that for embarassing....

  5. #5
    Registered User Array jonathan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Surrey, BC
    The Bench !
    Don't know if I told this one before...

    I was at the ozone and I drank LOTS... it was 75 cent highball 75 cent shooter night.

    I was straight up sloshed...

    I managed to somehow get to my girlfriends house.. stumbled into her room, tore off all my clothes and passed out instantly.

    Sometime before I wake up I have this dream that I had to pee really bad, and i was standing at the toilet but I just couldn't relax enough to pee. Finally I relaxed and it seemed like I was peeing for about a minute.

    maybe an hour later I woke up to a weird wet slightly warm feeling.. I rolled over.. COLD. I woke up, and instantly realised I was laying in a huge puddle of urin... HAHA !

    I jumped up so I was standing on the bed and yelled "TWYLA I PISSED ALL OVER THE BED AND ALL OVER YOU!!!!!"

    and started bouncing up and down to wake her up. I ran and jumped into the shower. The funny thing is I wasnt embarassed at all... it was more like when you witness a big carcrash and yell "holy shit !"

    Funny thing is im not a bed wetter I did pee the bed once when i was like 5 or 6 but I had some kidney infection or my bladder or aids.. (I cant really remember)

    Anyways I got out of the shower and twyla's got this pissed off look and says "you're cleaning my sheets" and I said "no im not, I gotta go to work" and I took off.

    So who wants to be my girlfriend ?


  6. #6
    Registered User Array
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    speaking of zippers and pants:

    once upon a time, when I still had my old F2.. i was coming back from a 12 hour shift and ran out of gas (mistakenly had it on reserve already) in the middle of freakin' nowhere.

    So.. after much cursing i started to walk. Nearly right away a cabbie with a van pulls up. We try to put the bike in - no dice. So I ask him to take me to a gas station. After a freakin' tour de' Lower Mainland we finally get to a Shell.

    I walk in and immediately ask the counterlady for a jerry can. She's speaking Korean and is looking at me with stifled laughs.

    I'm already stressed out.. so i ask again a bit testily. She starts to laugh a bit more. What the heck.. why is she laughing at me?

    She was laughing because my pants were around my ankles.

    Y'see I had these waterproofs i wear over jeans. I looked down and sure enough they slipped and were down as If I was going to the washroom.

    What's worse they must have fell down right in front of her. I don't think I could have walked from the cab to the store without tripping.

    I can still see them laughing as I leave the gasstation. The Cabbie drops me off at my bike.. thanks a lot.. here's your Freakin' 60 bux for the fucking ride you fucking dick.

    Ahhh... finally got the gas. Can't wait to get going.. finally!

    Umm... where's my keys?

    &*%^$&*#(@#$ They're in the fucking CAB!

    Sigh.. this is where I give up and die. I toss the full gas can in the ditch and sit by my bike for about a half hour or so. After awhile I start walking.. about 5kms down a truck stops and gives me a lift. I ask him to take me to the nearest shopping center.

    From there I made a call to a friend.. she was kind enough to come get me, go back to my house.. get the key.. then go get the bike.

    I was off work at 7pm. I got to my bike with my spare key by midnight. This qualifies as one of the worst days of my life.

  7. #7


    My whole life has been a funny/pathetic/horrible embarrassment!

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